Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If you're cooking alphabet soup on the stove and leave it unattended, it could spell disaster.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 13:11 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don't know where you are!
←Rate | 06-27-2011 13:11 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know my limits. I don't pay any attention to them, but I know them.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 13:10 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon i've seen more a$$ then a toilet seat
←Rate | 06-27-2011 13:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always say the things better left unsaid.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 13:09 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 13:09 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Monday, quit being such a ba$+ard.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 12:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had to make small talk with a bum at a freeway exit ramp because I couldn't roll up my window in time to ignore him
←Rate | 06-27-2011 12:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the best way to keep from wrinkling? Keep fat.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 11:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A positive to being overweight: you fill the bathtub up real quick, and save money on your water bill.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 11:06 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would shoot you, but why end your misery.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 11:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This year I broke ties with Winter, She was pretty mad and told Summer about me. So our relationship has benn stormy and a little chilly at times.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 10:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Actually my ex was a good cook, I have the waist to prove it, nothing else.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 10:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking. A wise man tells her she looks extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 09:57 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Daily log Monday morning, 9:49am: I have decided I am done trying until Friday night, I've already been here too long this week.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 09:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish instead of aiming to please, I could just start shooting to kill. I think it would make me feel better.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 09:44 by Brafty Crastard Comments (0)  


   messageicon photo albums become less interesting when all the hot chicks know how to use privacy settings :P
←Rate | 06-27-2011 08:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Those people who think that a woman's place is in the kitchen obviously never had my ex-wife's cooking....
←Rate | 06-27-2011 08:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon How long before a gator eats somebody on that show called Swamp People? "Choot 'em, Clint, Choot 'em!"
←Rate | 06-27-2011 08:03 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon I walked passed the fridge earlier an thought I heard the BeeGees, when I opened the door it was only a chive talking.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 06:20 by Griff Comments (0)  



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