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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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If you're cooking alphabet soup on the stove and leave it unattended, it could spell disaster.
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06-27-2011 13:11 by
J. BIAZA
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If you can't afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don't know where you are!
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06-27-2011 13:11 by
J. BIAZA
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I know my limits. I don't pay any attention to them, but I know them.
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06-27-2011 13:10 by
J. BIAZA
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i've seen more a$$ then a toilet seat
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06-27-2011 13:09
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I always say the things better left unsaid.
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06-27-2011 13:09 by
J. BIAZA
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Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.
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06-27-2011 13:09 by
J. BIAZA
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Monday, quit being such a ba$+ard.
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06-27-2011 12:40
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I had to make small talk with a bum at a freeway exit ramp because I couldn't roll up my window in time to ignore him
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06-27-2011 12:30
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What's the best way to keep from wrinkling? Keep fat.
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06-27-2011 11:10
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A positive to being overweight: you fill the bathtub up real quick, and save money on your water bill.
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06-27-2011 11:06 by
CJ
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I would shoot you, but why end your misery.
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06-27-2011 11:02
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This year I broke ties with Winter, She was pretty mad and told Summer about me. So our relationship has benn stormy and a little chilly at times.
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06-27-2011 10:56
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Actually my ex was a good cook, I have the waist to prove it, nothing else.
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06-27-2011 10:42
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A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking. A wise man tells her she looks extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.
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06-27-2011 09:57 by
Dopey420
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Daily log Monday morning, 9:49am: I have decided I am done trying until Friday night, I've already been here too long this week.
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06-27-2011 09:49
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I wish instead of aiming to please, I could just start shooting to kill. I think it would make me feel better.
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06-27-2011 09:44 by
Brafty Crastard
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photo albums become less interesting when all the hot chicks know how to use privacy settings :P
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06-27-2011 08:30
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Those people who think that a woman's place is in the kitchen obviously never had my ex-wife's cooking....
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06-27-2011 08:19 by
SEAN
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How long before a gator eats somebody on that show called Swamp People? "Choot 'em, Clint, Choot 'em!"
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06-27-2011 08:03 by
Jeff W
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I walked passed the fridge earlier an thought I heard the BeeGees, when I opened the door it was only a chive talking.
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06-27-2011 06:20 by
Griff
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