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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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My girlfriend says she 'feels pregnant' and I am now feeling sick.
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06-29-2011 09:20
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Let's see how long I can hold your breath under water.
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06-29-2011 09:03 by
Brafty Crastard
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I turned my phone onto "Airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst. Transformer. Ever.
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06-29-2011 09:01 by
Griff
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I will be honest with you, when it comes to women, you are part of my "Quantity Over Quality" phase.
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06-29-2011 07:49 by
KISSTOPHER
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"getlost@youLoser.com" seems like a strange email address, are you sure you wrote it down correctly??
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06-29-2011 07:21
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When a man talks dirty to a woman it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man it's $3.95 a minute!!
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06-29-2011 07:09 by
CB
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Kegel exercises ladies...Lets begin! and I and a 2 and a 3. :)
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06-29-2011 07:04
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Kanye West leaned back in his chair, stroking his Persian cat. His scheme to become the biggest douche in the world was coming to fruition.
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06-29-2011 06:27 by
flinnie
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Your life would be sweeter if you spent more time around those impressed by you, not those you have to impress.
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06-29-2011 03:51
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I don't know about you, but a highlight of my teenagerhood was filling my Dad's Vodka/Whiskey bottle with Water/Apple juice..
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06-29-2011 02:45
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Bill and Ted wrote the best bible when they said "Be excellent to each other". no other commandments or words of wisdom needed.
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06-29-2011 00:19 by
Gil
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As I get older my fantasy hasn't changed, I still want two women at the same time, the only difference is......one cooking and one cleaning.
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06-29-2011 00:01 by
K-Mac
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- Xbox and nintendo wii are both white and none of my credit card details were stolen by those. The ps3 on the other hand......
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06-28-2011 23:22 by
itzcarol
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Did you know you can sun burn your nipples? Me neither! Ouch.
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06-28-2011 22:05
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90% of women don't like men in pink t-shirts... IRONICALLY.. 90% of men in pink t-shirts don't like women
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06-28-2011 21:41
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Making yourself busy won't let you forget what you don't want to remember
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06-28-2011 21:37
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if you have ever pushed a door that said pull .
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06-28-2011 21:33
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has decided the best response to "Suck it" is hereby known as "Sorry, I'm not allowed to put small things in my mouth!"
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06-28-2011 21:28
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how come when we talk to God we are praying...when God talks to us we are schizophrenic
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06-28-2011 21:12 by
migasjoe
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some days 25 to life just seems like it would be worth it!!!!!
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06-28-2011 21:11 by
migasjoe
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