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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Whenever my girlfriend is mad at one of our friends, she deletes them from FB but makes sure I stay friends so she can see what they're saying.
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07-05-2011 13:44 by
Marshall the Great
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Life is hell when you're sober.
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07-05-2011 13:36
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When men lie, it's to avoid an argument. When women lie, it's to ruin lives.
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07-05-2011 13:31 by
BRian
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, and the middle ones for you.
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07-05-2011 13:07 by
8008135
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Psychology experiment: Pull you head back, now pretend to shake salt from an imaginary salt shaker in your mouth, you'll taste salt!
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07-05-2011 12:31
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I hate running out of deodorant......with 1 armpit left to go.. Now I have Sure on the left and Not so Sure on the right.
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07-05-2011 12:19 by
Lonagan
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Random thought: I wonder if couches at nudist colonies smell like ass?
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07-05-2011 11:32 by
Instructor4802
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Now thinking that I had the 455.00 back that I spent on fireworks....
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07-05-2011 10:45 by
Rick H.
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Going to: ❒ Paris ❒ New York ❒ London ✔ KITCHEN, I'm hungry
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07-05-2011 10:22 by
RoN
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There should be realtionship status that says,"I don`t even know what`s going on"
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07-05-2011 10:20 by
RoN
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I hate running out of deodorant......with 1 armpit left to go
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07-05-2011 10:16
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You wanna know the definition of deductive reasoning? I've deduced that the fatter the chick, the more boring the facebook page.
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07-05-2011 09:12
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She might be ugly now, but wait a few more drinks.
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07-05-2011 06:21
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People are so predictable..I bet you're even reading this status right now.
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07-05-2011 06:12 by
flinnie
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We could learn from crayons. Some are sharp, some dull, some pretty, some have weird names, and all are different colours... but they all live in the same box.
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07-05-2011 06:12
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Unwritten Facebook rule #5 : If that person isn't in the photo, don't tag them.
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07-05-2011 04:01 by
invisibility
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DUDE I WASN'T THAT DRUNK! Dude, you were shaking pineapples yelling "Spongebob, I know you're in there!"
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07-05-2011 02:26
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oh mr bean burrito, why do you hate me so?
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07-04-2011 23:54
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I like watching hoarders...it makes my house look clean
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07-04-2011 23:26 by
wayne
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Constitution signed [X] Morons taking over and ruining it [X] ... We gotta fix this country.
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07-04-2011 23:21
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