Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
4733
4734
4735
4736
4737
4738
4739
4740
5577
Next»
Page: 4737 of 5577
When a girl cancels a date she cancels it because she has to. When a guy cancels a date he cancels it because he has two.
73
21
←Rate |
06-14-2011 12:59 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have.
11
13
←Rate |
06-14-2011 12:55 by
MTQ
Comments (
0
)
I'd like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I'm afraid they'll be used against me in a court of law someday.
36
12
←Rate |
06-14-2011 12:53 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
No darling 56 guys didnt like your profile pic because you are "pretty." They liked it cause your BOOBS are hanging out.
106
19
←Rate |
06-14-2011 12:49 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
2
)
Ive made mistakes;been a mistake;met/been involved with some mistakes;learned from mistakes;will make other mistakes-I'm not perfect;but dont mistake me for an idiot.!!!
2
3
←Rate |
06-14-2011 12:48 | Tags: Filtered
Comments (
0
)
I didn't say you were stupid! I said “It's too bad you can't get by on your looks.”
13
15
←Rate |
06-14-2011 12:48 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
Congressman Weiner's wife: "ANTHONY!!! I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!"
9
17
←Rate |
06-14-2011 12:46 by
MTQ
Comments (
0
)
I use to say “That's How I Roll” until I fell down a hillside. It was much different than I imagined. Now I say: That's how I scream & bounce.
55
10
←Rate |
06-14-2011 12:45 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
If the 6-year-old me knew that I bought a house instead of a helicopter he'd kick my ass.
45
12
←Rate |
06-14-2011 12:26 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
Do you know what I find interesting? ...Neither does this person who keeps talking to me.
25
10
←Rate |
06-14-2011 12:23 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
63
12
←Rate |
06-14-2011 12:20 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
I think that there are two kinds of people in the world: people who put raisins in cookies & people I like.
24
12
←Rate |
06-14-2011 12:20 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
Revenge is a dish best served steaming hot! So your enemies burn their tongue.
9
17
←Rate |
06-14-2011 12:16 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
why is my imaginary friend SO good at hide and seek?
5
16
←Rate |
06-14-2011 12:00 by
fudgejunkie
Comments (
0
)
Ever notice how the most tattooed guy everywhere you go is the one thats always broke?
31
14
←Rate |
06-14-2011 11:48
Comments (
0
)
When I'm rich, I'm going to dictate my status updates to my secretary, and my butler will press the share button.
72
15
←Rate |
06-14-2011 11:42
Comments (
0
)
Yes I look at the accident after Ive waited in traffic to pass it, its my turn.
31
9
←Rate |
06-14-2011 11:38
Comments (
1
)
Officer I know I ran that red light but its okay I'll just stop twice at the next one. Are we cool?
34
12
←Rate |
06-14-2011 11:35
Comments (
0
)
Hey homeless guy, quick tip: dont panhandle outside the 99 Cent Store, were not that far from you.
56
11
←Rate |
06-14-2011 11:34
Comments (
0
)
Couples who exchange "sweet nothings" on facebook, stop it, every time you do that I kick a cat.
10
19
←Rate |
06-14-2011 11:29
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
4733
4734
4735
4736
4737
4738
4739
4740
5577
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com