Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Asia-Vu the feeling you've seen that Asian person before
←Rate | 07-09-2011 05:02 by @trav_is_lindsay Comments (0)  


   messageicon The other day my car's “Check Engine” light came on, so I popped the hood and looked, and the engine was still there. Silly light!
←Rate | 07-09-2011 03:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We cant pretend to be strangers when I have seen you naked!
←Rate | 07-09-2011 03:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are you a robot? So why do you keep doing what people tell you and expect you to do?
←Rate | 07-09-2011 03:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would slap you right now but I don't want to get arrested for animal abuse.
←Rate | 07-09-2011 03:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going.
←Rate | 07-09-2011 02:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not your Father but I can be your friend ( Heavy breathing ) - Step-dad Darth Vader
←Rate | 07-09-2011 02:48 by @trav_is_lindsay Comments (0)  


   messageicon just saw George Washington advertised for deadliest warriors I think they're running out of warriors
←Rate | 07-09-2011 02:47 by @trav_is_lindsay Comments (0)  


   messageicon procrastination personified.
←Rate | 07-09-2011 02:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got 99 doughnuts cause a bitch ate one.
←Rate | 07-09-2011 02:37 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon At some point, my grandmother stopped admiring how big I was getting.
←Rate | 07-09-2011 02:11 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always use the self-checkout lane to avoid being embarrassed when my card is declined.
←Rate | 07-09-2011 02:08 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon whenever i'm bored I just expect at any moment for the Koolaid man to break through my wall and take me on a deliciously refreshing adventure!
←Rate | 07-09-2011 01:35 by @trav_is_lindsay Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Facebook shutdown people would be in tears, shoving pictures of themselves in front of mirror in bathrooms and showing on people's faces yelling "DO YOU LIKE THIS?! DO YOU?!"
←Rate | 07-09-2011 00:30 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I really want a chick to know I'm ballin', I get her something from the vending machine and ignore the change
←Rate | 07-08-2011 23:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever you feel powerless, remind yourself that a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water-park.
←Rate | 07-08-2011 23:45 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one that thinks it's creepy for women to call their men "Daddy"?
←Rate | 07-08-2011 23:36 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hated by many, wanted by plenty, disliked by some, confronted by none! If you don't like just REMEMBER it's mind over matter! I don't Mind and you don't matter!
←Rate | 07-08-2011 23:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Won a time machine on eBay. Disappointed when I received a damn clock.
←Rate | 07-08-2011 23:09 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think what I just said was offensive, you don't want to hear the things that I stopped myself from saying.
←Rate | 07-08-2011 23:07 by BEGO Comments (0)  



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