Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Some smartphones are actually smarter than their owners.

   Don't forget to thank the Moms too for putting up with the Fathers all along, cause without them their wouldn't be any Dads!!

   I opened our windows to get some fresh air in the house and now the neighbors are wondering why the whole block stinks

   Happy Father's Day, all! Be nice to your dad today. Remember it's because of him not pulling out in time that you're alive today!

   Got a flannel shirt for the 9th Fathers Day in a row... Thanks honey, cant wait to see what you get me next year!

   • When dealing with women, puppy eyes will get you just about everything. Actual puppies will get you even more.

   Let's not forget a Happy Father's day to all the Sugar Daddies out there.

   @Guys - your nipples make no sense to us.

   @Guys - If we just met you and we're making out on the dance floor, chances are it wasn't your dance moves that got you this lucky.

   Happy father day to the men in our lives that have made a diffrence when we didnt have one to be there.., our uncles, brothers, grandfathers teachers bosses,step dads...you didnt have to be there, but we were all grateful you were.

   Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bulls*it before....;)

   A good friend would bail you out of jail, but your best friend would be the one sitting next to you saying, "damn that was awesome".

   Now if you'll excuse me, today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves.

   Someone prank call me, I'm bored.

   I always wonder when somebody post "gym time" on their wall and people actually like it... does this mean people know you are fat and they "like" that you're finally doing something about it?

   I just bought some "ribbed cotton tank t-shirts" at WalMart. You'd think that'd be the one place on earth they'd call them wifebeaters.

   ♥ LOVE always has it`s ``ERRORS`` sometimes we try 2 ``REFRESH`` then realyize it`s best 2 b ``SHUTDOWN`` but the hardest part is 2 ``RESTART`` your life and ``REFORMAT`` your HEART ♥

   Yield signs should just be a picture of a dude shrugging his shoulders.

   Car dealerships: it doesn't matter how many balloons you put on the cars, I'm not going to randomly decide to pull in and buy one.

   If you're lucky enough to still have a dad the best Father's Day gift would be to call the guy and ask his advice about something. Anything.