Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
4711
4712
4713
4714
4715
4716
4717
4718
5593
Next»
Page: 4715 of 5593
If people winked and "laughed out loud" in real life half as much as they did when they were texting the world would be a very creepy place ;) lol
21
17
←Rate |
07-09-2011 18:03 by
michael askins
Comments (
0
)
I'd like to drink less alcohol but I don't want to murder my family with a hammer.
27
28
←Rate |
07-09-2011 17:57 by
SuthernFukr
Comments (
0
)
In real life, I never know when danger is coming because the music doesn't change.
101
18
←Rate |
07-09-2011 17:10 by
SuthernFukr
Comments (
0
)
Should I be more grossed out that I found my friends vibrator in her kitchen or by the amount of cat hair that was on it?
85
21
←Rate |
07-09-2011 17:05
Comments (
0
)
I suck at making bucket lists. Mine just says "Dog milk".
6
14
←Rate |
07-09-2011 17:05
Comments (
0
)
My watch died at 11:30pm last night... It was the most incredible night of my life. At 3:00am I was still thinking it was 11:30. I was like "OMG the night still so young!!!!!" And kept on drinking... Yeah, I got home at 11:30pm, good girl!
35
16
←Rate |
07-09-2011 16:09
Comments (
0
)
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
55
13
←Rate |
07-09-2011 15:10 by
SuthernFukr
Comments (
0
)
Coffee and cigarettes, best thing in the world.
54
63
←Rate |
07-09-2011 14:10
Comments (
0
)
Going to drink straight from the carton because I'm a badass!
6
18
←Rate |
07-09-2011 13:36
Comments (
0
)
I hate the feel of wrinkly hands in the bath. Grandad's pretty persistent though.
61
47
←Rate |
07-09-2011 13:13
Comments (
0
)
If I ran NASA, it would be mandatory for the ground crew at Edwards Air Force Base to be dressed as apes when the space shuttle Atlantis lands
74
14
←Rate |
07-09-2011 12:38
Comments (
0
)
Boob is the perfect word cux it shows you what it means. Top view -> B ... Front view -> oo ... Side view -> b.
68
31
←Rate |
07-09-2011 11:46
Comments (
0
)
When I woke up this morning I half expected to find a tiger in the bathroom and a baby in the closet...
47
23
←Rate |
07-09-2011 11:30
Comments (
0
)
Don't wait for the one you can live with, be with the one you can't live without.
19
15
←Rate |
07-09-2011 11:07
Comments (
0
)
you may be "special" but you are not uniquie.
10
11
←Rate |
07-09-2011 10:56
Comments (
0
)
Whenever I see a fat kid running, the slogan 'America Runs On Dunkin' comes to mind.
35
10
←Rate |
07-09-2011 10:47
Comments (
0
)
Dear "OK", you should be arrested for killing conversations.
23
10
←Rate |
07-09-2011 10:36
Comments (
0
)
Sometimes those people you think are acting dumb are in fact not acting at all.
52
10
←Rate |
07-09-2011 09:46
Comments (
0
)
How can a slim chance and a fat chance mean the same thing
23
6
←Rate |
07-09-2011 09:44 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
I stepped into the Wal-Mart bathroom and it smelled like Casey Anthony's trunk in there...
25
53
←Rate |
07-09-2011 09:41 by
WhiplashWally
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
4711
4712
4713
4714
4715
4716
4717
4718
5593
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com