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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I can't stop drinking about you.
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06-23-2011 13:03 by
Marshall the Great
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I just saw a dude put sunscreen on his back by squirting it on a wall and backing into it.
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06-23-2011 12:59 by
Marshall the Great
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My girlfriend needs to start putting her cell phone and keys right next to all the things I've done wrong that she will never forget.
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06-23-2011 12:56 by
Marshall the Great
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I want that job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.
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06-23-2011 12:55 by
Marshall the Great
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People who describe things as "better than sex" are having the wrong kind of sex.
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06-23-2011 12:54 by
Marshall the Great
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If the caller I.D. reads "unavailable" then so am I.
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06-23-2011 12:53 by
Marshall the Great
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Getting sex from my gf is easy....I just have to buy her stuff..!!!
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06-23-2011 12:52
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the pill...... the second best thing a woman can put in her mouth to avoid pregnancy
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06-23-2011 12:22 by
jeff
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Without mentioning any names, I know my phone is smarter than some people I know.
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06-23-2011 12:18
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My teacher always is talking to her imaginary friend named "Class".
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06-23-2011 11:45
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I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
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06-23-2011 11:38
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Some chick told me to get lost so I bought every season on DVD
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06-23-2011 11:36
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Life is like a sports car: It goes too fast, and it costs too much
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06-23-2011 11:31
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Only when they're in a fix and in need your help do they come to you all sweet and humble. I won't buy that sh*t. Fu*k you and your problems.
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06-23-2011 10:33 by
KISSTOPHER
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I don't LOL as much as I lead people to believe I do...
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06-23-2011 09:53 by
ginger curtis
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The easiset way to tell if a friend is trying to set you up with an ugly person.....when they say....."but they are a good person"
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06-23-2011 09:41
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How can a guy think he looks cool in pink shorts.
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06-23-2011 09:40
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Man Rule #1........never start a conversation with a stranger while at a urinal
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06-23-2011 09:39
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did you know President George W. Bush and Playboy founder Hugh Hefner are cousins!
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06-23-2011 09:37
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It's just another day in down turn economy with a rising unemployment rate....but other than that it's paradise...
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06-23-2011 09:37 by
Nebulith
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