Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If I have to explain one more time why I'm wearing a cast, I'm writing "Attacked by Ninjas" on it!
←Rate | 07-15-2011 19:28 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please don't throw your cigarette butts in the urinal... It makes them soggy and hard to light.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 19:10 by ShawnT Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who ever decided that a 1" mars bar should be called fun size must be stupid .. seriously .. when is anything that is only 1" long fun. I mean come on, you need at least half a dozen to fulfil your needs
←Rate | 07-15-2011 18:52 by energypositive Comments (0)  


   messageicon (Insert depressing and melancholy observations, complaints and status updates in this box.)
←Rate | 07-15-2011 18:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon J-Lo's Checklist: ✓Sean Combs ✓Cris Judd ✓Ben Affleck ✓Marc Anthony __Simon Fuller __Randy Jackson __Steven Tyler __Flavor Flav
←Rate | 07-15-2011 18:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish they made a “no soliciting” sign for the phone!
←Rate | 07-15-2011 17:21 by jammer Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I delete an app on my iPhone, thew shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed
←Rate | 07-15-2011 17:17 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't have pet peeves-I have major psychotic f##cking hatreds!!!
←Rate | 07-15-2011 17:14 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have washboard abs. They just happen to have a little laundry on them...
←Rate | 07-15-2011 17:13 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK-all those that believe in psyco kinesis raise my hand
←Rate | 07-15-2011 17:10 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon saw Harry Potter at midnight last night. LOL JK, I have a life.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 16:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon to everyone who sends me request in Farmvillie I'm gonna send you a tree for ur farm so you can hang yourself!!
←Rate | 07-15-2011 16:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It has been revealed that Ryan Giggs of Manchester United has been slammin' his brothers wife for 8 years! damn! Talk about brotherly love.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 14:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ORGANISM.. you read that wrong the first time didn't you...
←Rate | 07-15-2011 13:53 by Mudda Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to Biker Night at The Blue Oyster Bar.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 13:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can PUT YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES ON AND DEAL WITH IT only so many times. Then the elastic breaks... and you really show your butt.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 12:53 by bubba Comments (0)  


   messageicon actively hunting down the Killer of his Ex-Girlfriend for the last Few Years, and it's harder than Initially Thought: Nobody Wants to Do It!! :-/
←Rate | 07-15-2011 10:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you didn't have all this money, I'd still love you..and miss you very much.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 10:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 10:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tell your girlfriend to stop wearing different colored lipstick, I am getting a damn rainbow around my d*ck.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 10:47 Comments (0)  



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