Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon That'll do, Jamie Lee Curtis. I think we are all now sufficiently aware of how well and often you poop. Enough.
←Rate | 07-18-2011 14:42 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in..
←Rate | 07-18-2011 14:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it aint broken dont fix it. Now why did Facebook people have to mess with the CHAT?
←Rate | 07-18-2011 14:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to congratulate Charlie Sheen on his demotion from CBS to TBS...If he keeps progrssing at this pace, his next stop should be "dinner theater" at an L.A. soup kitchen.
←Rate | 07-18-2011 14:11 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
←Rate | 07-18-2011 14:05 by Wolf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationships are like jobs, they require full time, overtime, no paid time off, and the benefits are based on performance.
←Rate | 07-18-2011 14:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I could do it all over again... I probably wouldn't be pu$$y and make the remark "If I could do it all over again."
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Transitions Lenses are a great way let people know you wear socks when you're having sex.
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone has that moment of terror when their line of thinking goes from "Where did I park my car?" to "Did someone steal my f*cking car?"
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just thought of an airtight alibi, now I just have to come up with a worthy crime...
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:50 by liro81 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and something called relationships.
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife: If I become fat and ugly will you leave me? Husband starts laughing. Wife: WHAT?! Husband: I'm still here ain't I?
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The blue whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating. Only 10 percent enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty? :D
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your girlfriend starts smoking slow down and use a lubricant
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Confucius Say: Girl who go on fishing trip with 6 men, come back with red snapper.
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Confucius Say: Girl who go on fishing trip with 6 men, come back with red snapper.
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My greatest fear is sitting in front of thousands of people while my Google search history is read aloud.
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before bed, my Dad would always say, "OK son, time to hit the sack." Not sure how me punching him in the balls helped him sleep, but hey, that's my Dad for ya.
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon What all do I want on my 5 dollar footlong you ask? Let's just say I want you to have to sit on it like a suitcase to get it to closed when you're done.
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:30 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon my phone automatically wants to check me into every bar we pass? I guess this think really is a smartphone
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:27 by Downey Comments (0)  



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