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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Dear Android developers,Could you please stop making new phones for just a little while not too long but just a little while so I can experience contentment with the phone that I have ..ps I cannot afford to buy every phone you make.
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07-18-2011 20:48
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You seem to resemble a feminine hygiene product one might typically use on a summers eve...and the bag it came in.....just sayin!!
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07-18-2011 19:55
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Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman's boots...
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07-18-2011 19:46 by
Cornholio
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thank you, tapout for clearly showing the world who the douches are...
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07-18-2011 19:21 by
datjusthappened
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If only I could figure out a way to fall asleep at work without anybody noticing. That would definitely be one of my top achievements in life!
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07-18-2011 19:14
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Wal Mart is a scary place after dark
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07-18-2011 19:12
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How many 5 Hour Energy drinks do I need to take to live forever?
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07-18-2011 18:51 by
Aaron
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Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade's gonna suck!
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07-18-2011 18:36 by
SuthernFukr
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Message to Scotland Yard Canteen Manager: Please wear a suit to work tomorrow, as you are now their highest ranking employee.
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07-18-2011 18:23 by
Docles
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I married my wife for her looks, just not the ones she has been giving me lately
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07-18-2011 18:15 by
migasjoe
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if poop were people.... then I just sh#t Lou Farrigno
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07-18-2011 18:08
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You think a day care has a lot of crying babies and screaming kids? Try playing one online match in Call of Duty v_v
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07-18-2011 17:49
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Facebook was the most searched term on Google last month. If you need Google to find Facebook, you shouldn't be using the internet.
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07-18-2011 17:24 by
flinnie
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Remember, they're laughing with you, not at you. They're only pointing at you so you know who they're laughing with.
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07-18-2011 17:24 by
SuthernFukr
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Don't tell me anything about the new Harry Potter film! I still haven't seen the first 6 films.
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07-18-2011 16:31 by
tmdavies31
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I'm convinced that you could start a fire with the insides of a just nuked Hot Pocket.
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07-18-2011 16:02 by
SuthernFukr
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I still say they would sell way more PT Cruisers if they would just put a ZZ Top logo on the side.
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07-18-2011 14:44 by
SuthernFukr
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That'll do, Jamie Lee Curtis. I think we are all now sufficiently aware of how well and often you poop. Enough.
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07-18-2011 14:42 by
SuthernFukr
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As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in..
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07-18-2011 14:20
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If it aint broken dont fix it. Now why did Facebook people have to mess with the CHAT?
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07-18-2011 14:17
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