Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon All I heard was, "I swear it'll be funny"... Then we were in jail.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 14:23 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon In today's economy, a picture is only worth about 250 words.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 14:22 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The correct answer to "How are you?" is "Fine." If you ever stray from that dialogue, please know that nobody gives a sh!t.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 14:02 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most cocaine addicts don't even like cocaine, they just use it as an excuse to put dollar bills up their nose.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 14:01 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just had a SPIDER try webbing down on me this morning in the shower. Let me tell you, that'll kill a morning wood REAL quick!
←Rate | 07-22-2011 13:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon there is always that one pair of socks you can never get off, by just using your big toe!
←Rate | 07-22-2011 13:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its not the heat, its your FACE!!!
←Rate | 07-22-2011 13:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking about lighting up the fire pit to cool down outside
←Rate | 07-22-2011 13:14 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon if alcohol is a crutch, then Jack Daniels is the wheelchair
←Rate | 07-22-2011 13:06 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my memory must be made up of at least 90% song lyrics...
←Rate | 07-22-2011 12:11 by streakender Comments (0)  


   messageicon My twelve year old was riding with me listening to a classic rock station and he says "I can't believe they have a Rock Band staion!"
←Rate | 07-22-2011 12:03 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Right now....your tongue can't find a comfortable spot in your mouth
←Rate | 07-22-2011 12:02 by streakender Comments (0)  


   messageicon It bothers me that someone may steal my identity and use it to make thousands of dollars behind my back. It bothers me because I currently have my identity and can't figure out how to do that.."
←Rate | 07-22-2011 11:32 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm smart my lightbulb just flickers sometimes.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 11:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A dying granny was talking to her granddaughter. "I may die any minute so I want you to inherit my farm including the villa, tractor, the farmhouse and all the livestock and $52,389,630.00 cash. Wow says the granddaughter.. Where is this wealth? On my FB.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 09:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My parents had a weird perspective on raising me. The day they brought me home from the hospital when I was born, they put a sign on my bedroom door: "Checkout Time is 18 years."
←Rate | 07-22-2011 09:26 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Monica Lewinsky has changed her political affiliation to Republican. The Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 08:48 by Markmc Comments (0)  


   messageicon The next person that says "It's not the heat, it's the humidity" is going to realize, "It's not my fist, it's the impact".
←Rate | 07-22-2011 08:40 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon how do beautiful people travel? Because they certainly don't appear to be using airports.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 07:43 by Zep Comments (0)  


   messageicon everyone has pretended to die infront their pets to see if they would do anything.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 07:43 by Zep Comments (0)  



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