Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Lazy Rule #14: If you drop the ice cube, just kick it under the fridge or the stove...
←Rate | 07-22-2011 22:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who say "I'm beside myself" are often mistaken.... with the notable exception of time travellers and Siamese twins.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 22:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The word is RUMORS dumbass, kinda like the ones we heard about you not being funny. Except that one turned out to be true.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 21:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont Drink and Drive....Drink and call AAA and say "my car is Fooked up just tow it to my house"
←Rate | 07-22-2011 20:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The News said its going to be 99 Degrees today but its going to feel like 110.... B!c$h, say its gone be 110 Degrees then!
←Rate | 07-22-2011 20:47 by ed status Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if a bra is called an over the sholder bolder holder then what is mens underwear under the but nut hut?
←Rate | 07-22-2011 20:39 by :) Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best things in life are free until the government finds out and taxes it.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 19:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think you're alone and nobody notices you, try not paying your bills.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 19:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I don't have time to make coffee, I pull out a nose hair instead.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 19:22 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon can fat people go skinny dipping?
←Rate | 07-22-2011 19:14 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is how my relationship goes.....I turn her on the moment I get home from work and she satisfies my needs. I love my air conditioner!
←Rate | 07-22-2011 18:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon old enough to remember when MTV wasn't just a camera someone left on in a trailer home.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 18:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its 103 outside an I'm inside watchin tv under my snuggie.. Thanx A/C!
←Rate | 07-22-2011 17:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im tryin to beat The Heat like Dirk Nowitzki.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 17:33 by L Comments (0)  


   messageicon The amount of times I've "apparently" won an ipod an ipad or an iphone while I'm on the internet would put apple out of business!
←Rate | 07-22-2011 17:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So me && grandma go for a joy ride and I turn on the radio, she says" who in the devil is this?" I replyed Grandma, his name is 50 cent, she then said " well I'll give him a dollar to shut up!"
←Rate | 07-22-2011 17:30 by Sky Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who the hell put the sun on HIGH?????
←Rate | 07-22-2011 17:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow it's hot!.....I'm sweating like a Priest at a Cub Scout picnic! ツ
←Rate | 07-22-2011 16:49 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every flaw in my character is quietly salvaged as evidence of my genius.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 16:02 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon A necktie functions like a tourniquet, preventing excess blood from entering the head.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 16:01 by Bridget Comments (0)  



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