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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Dear girls, If a boy sends you a friend request, that means he wants to be your friend not your husband. That's why it says a friend request...
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07-04-2011 08:12 by
@senalk
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what happens in vegas never happens to me
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07-04-2011 06:06
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i once solved a rubiks cube by not buying it
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07-04-2011 06:02
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You know what they say "Home is where you hang your enemies head."
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07-04-2011 04:38 by
ff1241
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Remember ladies, your body is a temple, not a theme park
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07-04-2011 04:33 by
Dski90
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dating a rich guy can make you an INTELLIGENT BUSINESS WOMAN... and dating a poor guy makes you a HARD WORKER
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07-04-2011 04:18
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My kitchen smells like Ke$ha. (Tequila, lime and fish.)
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07-04-2011 01:32 by
dave
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If you're moody most of the time on Facebook, I assume you're run out of Marijuana.
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07-04-2011 01:18
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Hey elderly people, nobody takes you seriously until you've put tennis balls on your walker.
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07-04-2011 01:00 by
Aaron
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"Delete or block some friends!" The new way to "Quit Facebook Addiction". Ridiculous!
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07-04-2011 00:47
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Alcohol, explosives, rednecks, and cops.......hmmm anyone else feeling a country song coming on???
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07-04-2011 00:00
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If I'm not mistaken, I believe my 6 year-old just tried to choke me by using the Force.
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07-03-2011 23:40 by
rican4real
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The prettiest dresses are worn to be taken off
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07-03-2011 22:40 by
BEGO
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Transparency: The ability to see within another's heart ... all strengths & weaknesses ... and to accept everything unconditionally.
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07-03-2011 22:39 by
BEGO
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This is such a beautiful day... now watch some idiot screw it up!
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07-03-2011 22:39 by
BEGO
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So, My girlfriend asked me if I loved Her,..No girl, I only think about you all day, text you whenever I can & Stare at you constently when i'm with you.
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07-03-2011 22:37 by
BEGO
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How many BBQ's do I have to get drunk at to prove I love Australia???
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07-03-2011 22:22
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I have to start reading labels, I definitely just covered myself in this girl's shimmering lotion, maybe I thought it said slimming
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07-03-2011 22:14 by
@youlivnlearn
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I complimented this chick on her dress today but what I really meant was, you have an awesome rack.
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07-03-2011 21:37
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I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep
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07-03-2011 21:23 by
Doc Noland
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