I have this recurring dream where I'm locked up in a room with all the people I've ever offended in my entire life and they are all glaring at me and I think, Great! I get to make fun of all you losers at once.
August 2: the date when the federal government is forecast to hit the debt limit and see all new loans cut off. Falls during "Simplify Your Life Week." Really?
Dear girl at the bar with the smokin body, long tan legs and amazing knockers, your face looks like a man so I bet you get it from behind a lot. #KeepinItReal
Coming home from work today, I just saw a guy sitting in a rowbaot in his front yard in the rain with a case of budligtht. Even though I've never met him, I'm convinced that he's good people
I read a story Thursday about things you shouldn't buy used, such as child car seats, plasma TVs and vacuum cleaners. Good advice, but condoms and toilet paper would have been at the top of my list.