Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I have never been a big fan of Mr. Bubble. I find it odd that I'm not allowed to be on a first-name basis with someone who has seen me naked hundreds of times
←Rate | 07-29-2011 18:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon there is a good chance my eyes will be red tomorrow
←Rate | 07-29-2011 18:01 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've just popped down with my floral tribute to Amy Winehouse, last years Xmas tree. It's the perfect tribute, 5 & a half feet, dead & surrounded by needles.
←Rate | 07-29-2011 17:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my mother never understood the irony in calling me a "son-of-a-b*tch"
←Rate | 07-29-2011 17:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A fool is a 37th floor window washer who steps backs to see his work.
←Rate | 07-29-2011 15:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a drinking problem...I can't afford it
←Rate | 07-29-2011 15:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon have you ever noticed that "lol" looks like some guy frantically waving his hands in the air?
←Rate | 07-29-2011 15:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon told his mum that the screaming coming from the tv was in fact tennis players grunting when hitting the ball...Don't think she fell for it!
←Rate | 07-29-2011 15:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its a stank fishy smell in the air...the prostitutes must be overheating
←Rate | 07-29-2011 14:51 by joe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am so bored I'm logging in and out of facebook for entertainment!
←Rate | 07-29-2011 13:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I don't care if it takes 10 years, a war and trillions of dollars, I will find you." - Me about figuring out who unfriended me on Facebook.
←Rate | 07-29-2011 13:47 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saying "cool" also means, I don't give a sh!t.
←Rate | 07-29-2011 13:46 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I get hit on by so many cougar, the discovery channel & Antiques road show offered me my own show called Vintage Gash Hunter
←Rate | 07-29-2011 13:44 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon People treat you differently when you're holding a baby. Especially in strip clubs.
←Rate | 07-29-2011 13:32 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon "This pu55y won't eat itself!" "Actually, those leggings are proving otherwise."
←Rate | 07-29-2011 13:32 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Still haven't figured out how to inflate a balloon with farts. Still no way I'm gonna stop trying.
←Rate | 07-29-2011 13:31 by Doc Noalnd Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fact that no one understands you does not make you an artist.
←Rate | 07-29-2011 13:30 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, I see no one turned up for first day of ninja school… or did they?
←Rate | 07-29-2011 13:29 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon SHREK is the best fairytale ever, it gives ugly guys hope and teaches them that you don't always have to be the most handsome to get the girl and live happily ever after.
←Rate | 07-29-2011 13:12 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I believe I've just serendipitously solved the world's energy crisis. They need to start using English Muffins as insulation. Those things retain heat for an eternity after they pop out of the toaster. (I didn't need these fingertips anyway.)
←Rate | 07-29-2011 12:19 by MTQ Comments (0)  



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