Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon since it's the thought that counts.. I'll keep thinking about exercising.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 17:21 by @cdrizzzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, did you have a good time last night? It was Smurf-tacular! Yeah, I saw you leave with Smurfette. As we got out of the bar, she started smurfing me. Shut the Smurf up! Yeah! Right in the Smurfing parking lot? Smurf-Yeah! Oh! That is freaking Smurf
←Rate | 07-27-2011 16:56 by jcgj Comments (0)  


   messageicon what did the egg say to the boiling water? "it might take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chick!"
←Rate | 07-27-2011 16:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Biggest slut alive? Ms pacman. For a quarter she will swallow balls until she dies.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 16:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had my DNA analyzed. It came back with four main components. Bacon, Chocolate, Coffee & Crazy
←Rate | 07-27-2011 16:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In my opinion, nothing says "mentally I'll and proud of it" like stuffed animals in your car window.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 16:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't think a remake of the Wizard of Oz would be good. If Dorothy were to encounter men with no brain, heart, or courage today she would be in congress.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 16:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who use the phrase, "I won't mention any names, but they know who they are," probably don't get punched often enough.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 15:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon don't attempt to speak a language you can't speak. Going to a market in my 1st night in Spain saying "Quiero polla" instead of "Quiero pollo" was one great lesson! Just 1 letter made the difference-I wanted to say "I want chicken" but said "I want d*ck"!
←Rate | 07-27-2011 15:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I can feel it coming in the heir tonight" - Phil Collins having sex with Paris Hilton
←Rate | 07-27-2011 15:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not sure I want Friends with Benefits. Can I just have the Benefits? We'll figure out the Friend thing later.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 15:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm opening a shelter for battered onion rings.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 15:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If smart phone are so smart then why won't it do my laundry?
←Rate | 07-27-2011 14:27 by KelWee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money
←Rate | 07-27-2011 14:18 by @anikethmendonca Comments (0)  


   messageicon Swords would be a lot less cool if we pronounced the "w."
←Rate | 07-27-2011 14:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, I'm tweeting from inside a car wash! I wonder if my phone will still work if I roll down the win
←Rate | 07-27-2011 14:09 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attention guy walking two feet behind me down the entire block even though we're the only people on this street: I will stab you in 10 feet.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 14:08 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders how many people could get high from snorting Amy Winehouse's ashes...
←Rate | 07-27-2011 14:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe if they turned the economy off and then turned it back on it might run better. Works for my computer.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 14:06 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope to someday live in a world where we all remember which side the gas tank is on.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 14:03 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)  



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