Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Persistenc​e • 1 yes is worth 100 no's!
←Rate | 07-28-2011 17:55 by @cboyklik Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think these news stations are missing the boat with these marathon storm tracking sessions. They need to sell advertising! "This Tornado warning is brought to you by Glad Trash Bags. Glad...when you have to clean debris the next morning, don't get mad..
←Rate | 07-28-2011 17:24 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I imagine rolling around in money feels a lot better when it's not coins
←Rate | 07-28-2011 17:23 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm no binge drinker. Binge drinking is defined as having 5 or more drinks at 1 sitting. I usually have my 4th and 5th lying on the floor.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 17:20 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 17:18 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I noticed the car in front of me had a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus." So I honked at him and waved. He then decided to give me the "bird."
←Rate | 07-28-2011 17:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon well we know God isn't a woman... otherwise we'd all be sandwiches
←Rate | 07-28-2011 16:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!
←Rate | 07-28-2011 16:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The last time there were sparks in my bedroom is when I was watching porn under the electric blanket
←Rate | 07-28-2011 16:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like calling the man who kidnapped me and raised me my faux pa
←Rate | 07-28-2011 16:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beer before liquor, never been sicker; liquor before Nyquil, something something heart palpitations
←Rate | 07-28-2011 16:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Skin-tight clothing only works if the skin underneath is tight also
←Rate | 07-28-2011 16:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first person to fabricate a muffler for a Dentist's drill, will make a fortune!
←Rate | 07-28-2011 16:30 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever lose a hand I'm definitely replacing it with a single nunchuck on a chain
←Rate | 07-28-2011 16:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon fixing something with WD-40 and a Craftsman wrench.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 16:28 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fuller than a tick on a fat dogs ass!
←Rate | 07-28-2011 15:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time someone calls you a disappointment, remind them everyone is great at something and you just happen to excel at disappointing.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 13:49 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Cougar travels 1500 miles from S Dakota only to get hit by a car in CT. Sounds like an episode of Real Housewives of NY!
←Rate | 07-28-2011 13:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't keep a gun in my house but I do have a carefully positioned cactus.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 13:47 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon They call me Mr. Coffee, cause I grind so fine!!!
←Rate | 07-28-2011 13:28 by mudfiter Comments (0)  



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