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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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The kids down the street have challenged me to a water fight...I'm just updating my status whilst I wait for the kettle to boil
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07-11-2011 08:46 by
SlowMotionNinja
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Watching a Travel Channel show on ghosts. I don't buy the Massachusetts ghost in the red flannel shirt. Thats a meth addict, not a ghost.
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07-11-2011 06:14 by
flinnie
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I saw a faded sign at the sign of the road. However there was no mention of a love shack.
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07-11-2011 06:12 by
flinnie
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We need to be more concerned about dinosaur ghosts
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07-11-2011 06:07 by
flinnie
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entrepreneurship - only cure for monday morning blues..!!
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07-11-2011 04:14
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The only thing left for me to do is to walk on water, and even at that some people would snicker and say, 'What, you can't swim?"
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07-11-2011 03:56 by
Mick F
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suffers occasional delusions of adequacy.
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07-11-2011 00:51 by
Hot Tea
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Girls its the summer time please dont walk around here in sandals with hideous feet...thats what you get for wearing Ugly aka UGG Boots lmao
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07-10-2011 23:48
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I love you yet I hate you,its like I want to throw you off a cliff then run really fast to the bottom to catch you ..
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07-10-2011 22:23 by
BEGO
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That spicy tuna roll I ate last night gave me HOTHOLE
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07-10-2011 21:17
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I'm unavailable to answer my phone at the moment, so please leave a message and the News of the World will get back to you.
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07-10-2011 20:35 by
SimonPurvisTV YT
| Tags: Filtered
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here's to you nipples, without you boobies would be pointless
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07-10-2011 20:20
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A good rule for facebook: Friends don't let friends friend non friends.
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07-10-2011 18:16 by
Bridget
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Tattoos: Nothing like a permanent disfigurement to satisfy the whims of fashion.
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07-10-2011 18:15 by
Bridget
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Yesterday I had a religious experience: I was repressed and beaten by a man in a black robe.
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07-10-2011 18:14 by
Bridget
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Facts are busily being ground into meat.
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07-10-2011 18:07 by
Bridget
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Chess Master Plots Brilliant Attack On Wife!
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07-10-2011 18:06 by
Bridget
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You guys mind if I get this out of the way a little early? Thanks. Dear Monday, I hate you.
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07-10-2011 18:05 by
Mick F
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When are they going to do a myth busters episode on God?
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07-10-2011 18:05 by
bridget
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I see they now have wedding dresses made completely out of toilet paper. Well, at least you'll be prepared when your marriage turns to $**t.
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07-10-2011 17:28
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