Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon So you gonna take 15 minutes to text back huh? That's fine, I'll take 20...
←Rate | 08-05-2011 23:19 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I know" - best response to someone telling you your fly is open
←Rate | 08-05-2011 23:17 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder...should we give that a try?
←Rate | 08-05-2011 23:15 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I fear that my entire life is a mockumentary
←Rate | 08-05-2011 23:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lies usually spread faster than the truth because there are always damn more of them.
←Rate | 08-05-2011 23:14 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to think that every time firemen get a call they're like "Yaaay! We get to ride in the truck!" then they laugh & tickle each other
←Rate | 08-05-2011 23:11 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I laugh when someone I just met gets mad at me and expects me to care. Like, wtf. I don't give a s**t about you! I don't even know you!
←Rate | 08-05-2011 23:11 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish we could all just get along. Unless you don't like the same music as me; then you can eat sh!t & die in a fire.
←Rate | 08-05-2011 23:06 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does this couch I'm laying on make me look unmotivated?
←Rate | 08-05-2011 23:04 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thank goodness no one can see what I have open on my other tabs while on Facebook. All I have to do is make sure I don't accidently hit like.
←Rate | 08-05-2011 22:51 by Slick Rick Comments (0)  


   messageicon My heart has a combination lock on it,figure out the code and you can have whats inside <3
←Rate | 08-05-2011 22:38 by @kraziedavid909 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I noticed the car in front of me had a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus." So I honked at him and he waved...next time wave with all ALL your fingers!!
←Rate | 08-05-2011 22:37 by bikerlynn Comments (0)  


   messageicon so sick of double standards. If a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys, she's a "ho"...bu​t if a guy does the same thing, he's "gay".
←Rate | 08-05-2011 22:22 by JustCuz Comments (0)  


   messageicon needs some comfort food.. Oh wait! I ate it already.. :-/
←Rate | 08-05-2011 22:18 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon i can sound like a broken record,i can sound like a broken record, I can sound like a broken record,i can sound like a broken record...
←Rate | 08-05-2011 22:07 by @kraziedavid909 Comments (0)  


   messageicon in a land of chimpanzees I was a monkey
←Rate | 08-05-2011 21:11 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon apparently I celebrated International Beer Day Eve a little to much last night
←Rate | 08-05-2011 21:09 by migasoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one
←Rate | 08-05-2011 20:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never date a girl whose father calls her "Princess." Chances are.. she believes it
←Rate | 08-05-2011 20:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once when the trainer asks one of the background people in the workout video how he's doing, I want him to respond: "I'm exhausted - you're a fu*king lunatic"
←Rate | 08-05-2011 20:53 Comments (0)  



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