Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon In the 80s and 90s we had Government Cheese. What is next Salami?
←Rate | 08-09-2011 00:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok I understand Food Stamps are for people who can't afford food. I can't afford GAS where is my fuel stamps???
←Rate | 08-09-2011 00:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know, even after all these years, Stacy's mom has still got it going on.
←Rate | 08-08-2011 23:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Though accurate, "I Need Sleep Or I'll Kill You," doesn't have quite the same ring as "Beauty Rest."
←Rate | 08-08-2011 23:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever had a gut feeling about having an empty stomach?
←Rate | 08-08-2011 23:24 by @spunky_design Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are three very important things you can always give but still keep at the same time...Your word, a smile and your heart
←Rate | 08-08-2011 22:46 by jdirt Comments (0)  


   messageicon The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pu$$y when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"
←Rate | 08-08-2011 22:35 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Talk about others and you're a gossip. Talk about yourself and you're a bore.
←Rate | 08-08-2011 22:00 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon the only time "looks aren't everything" is when your credit score is higher than 720
←Rate | 08-08-2011 21:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I won't say this Jack in the Box is dirty, but there's a sign in the restroom that says "Employees Must Wipe Their Asses."
←Rate | 08-08-2011 21:27 by Bobo The Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just like a magnet, you can always link a postive to every negative.
←Rate | 08-08-2011 19:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon For all you crying babies that don't like "government",or "government is to big",move to Somalia,no "government there for the last 20 years
←Rate | 08-08-2011 19:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I switched the neighbor's dog chew toy with the voodoo doll I made of my ex. Now I wait...
←Rate | 08-08-2011 19:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon sexy, seductive and invincible ...No, wait. Sorry. I'm thinking of wine. It's wine that does all that. Never mind
←Rate | 08-08-2011 19:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never let her down. He will comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions. He will enable her to be confident,
←Rate | 08-08-2011 19:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please don't make me go all CAPS LOCK on your a$$.
←Rate | 08-08-2011 19:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I consider each one of my friends a gift. Now if only I could remember where I put some of those receipts...
←Rate | 08-08-2011 19:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon In successful relationships, no one wears the pants.
←Rate | 08-08-2011 18:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know your vacation sucks when you're constantly writing updates about it on Facebook.
←Rate | 08-08-2011 18:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon asked by his wife to buy her something that goes from 0 to 80 in less than 5 seconds for her birthday...but she didn't like the weighing scale I got her.
←Rate | 08-08-2011 17:55 Comments (0)  



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