Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If tomatoes are classed as a fruit, then doesnt that mean that ketchup is technically a smoothie?

   A dentist married a manicurist, They fought tooth and nail.

   I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty good at changing light bulbs.

   I don always use Internet Explorer, But When I do, Its Always to download another browser. !

   I'm only 40,699,852 likes behind Rihanna

   Q: What should you do if you meet a nympho? A: Thank your lucky stars, and start believing in God.

   Its Nelson Mandela day and his birthday today and people still wish him many many more years. For heavens sake the man is 93 years old.

   just watching a W.W.E event with two chicks fighting... I think the proper name for that is W.T.F!!!?

   Sometimes, you simply need to walk away from people that weren't who you thought they were...or more importantly, who you wanted them to be.

   DISCLAIMER: I am not responsible for things I may say or do in other people's dreams.

   ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ scratch and you can win free cats for life

   A sign outside a brothel… “Married men are not allowed, we are here to serve the needy not the greedy.”

   Good night this half of the world, good morning to the other half... and good sunny day people from Mercury!

   I'm going to get in shape, pear is a shape...right???

   ▒▒broke my spac▒ebar but ▒▒a▒▒ little duct tape goes▒▒ a long w▒ay….

   BREAKING NEWS: United States resumes not caring about soccer, looks forward to NFL Football in September

   I'm not one to brag, but I deserve a medal. I just rescued a piece of cake that was trapped in the refrigerator.

   I'm not saying she is nasty, but her astrological sign is Biohazard.

   A homeless man comes up to asking for change,I say"change comes from within" he looked stunned.

   dear yellow light. challenge accepted!