Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon A Lover says, `I will be with you in all your troubles`. But a Good Friend says, `You will have no trouble when I am with you!`
←Rate | 08-09-2011 14:43 by vicky Comments (0)  


   messageicon The economy is so bad that Anglina Jolie is adopting American kids now.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 14:42 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Manager: A room with double bed? But sir you are alone? Santa: Yes, It is just that I wish to enjoy the silence from the other bed.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 14:41 by vicky Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sitting here watching thousands of dollars worth of food be thrown away on Hell's Kitchen while I eat my Ramen.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 14:40 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinking about writing a book on Mormon cults. Will title it, "Always the Bride, Never the Bridesmaid."
←Rate | 08-09-2011 14:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm trying to solve a murder mystery, but the only clue is a broken calculator found at the crime scene . . . Something doesn't add up.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 14:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a sign in the bathroom that says "DO NOT FLUSH FOREIGN OBJECTS," and I ate chinese food for lunch! To the next guy to use this stall: Sorry, I'm just obeying the rules...
←Rate | 08-09-2011 13:59 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Until noon tomorrow, I would like to be called only by my street name- White Chocolate Filling. Please update your records.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 13:29 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just woke up. Ice cream melted. Not sure where I am. Smells like basement.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 13:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon There aren't many passengers on this train of thought.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 13:25 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon original, one of a kind..So if you don't mind get back in line..
←Rate | 08-09-2011 12:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 12:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I'm not rioting, my tracksuit is in the wash.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 11:48 by Brafty Crastard Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only like Tuesday because it rhymes with Booze Day....
←Rate | 08-09-2011 11:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Society needs both optimists and pessimists. For example, an optimist invented the airplane while a pessimist invented the parachute
←Rate | 08-09-2011 11:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you purchased $1000 worth of Delta airlines stock one year ago, you would have $49. If you invested it in aig you'd have $33. If you spent $1000 on beer and recycled the cans you would have $214.50. Therefor drinking heavily is your best investment.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 11:39 by Will Comments (1)  


   messageicon Scotland Yard is at a loss at how to stop rioters from coordinating looting via Blackberry. If only they knew someone who could hack phones.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 11:35 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just took a typing test. 160 words per minute. The word was "a". That counts, right?
←Rate | 08-09-2011 10:34 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon You think seven years is bad for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 09:22 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't flush the toilet when I drop a load, I want the next person to know I gave a sh*t
←Rate | 08-09-2011 06:06 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  



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