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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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The amount of times I've "apparently" won an ipod an ipad or an iphone while I'm on the internet would put apple out of business!
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07-22-2011 17:32
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So me && grandma go for a joy ride and I turn on the radio, she says" who in the devil is this?" I replyed Grandma, his name is 50 cent, she then said " well I'll give him a dollar to shut up!"
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07-22-2011 17:30 by
Sky
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Who the hell put the sun on HIGH?????
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07-22-2011 17:17
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Wow it's hot!.....I'm sweating like a Priest at a Cub Scout picnic! ツ
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07-22-2011 16:49 by
totalpackage
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Every flaw in my character is quietly salvaged as evidence of my genius.
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07-22-2011 16:02 by
Bridget
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A necktie functions like a tourniquet, preventing excess blood from entering the head.
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07-22-2011 16:01 by
Bridget
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“Tired of online dating? You're not alone.” Yes you are. That's why you're dating online.
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07-22-2011 16:00 by
Bridget
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I wrote a joke about the short duration of cocaine, in fact the joke itself is a one-liner.
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07-22-2011 16:00 by
Bridget
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If I could find a deaf, mute hot blonde....I would give her the world!!
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07-22-2011 15:43 by
urboyblue
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My chat box is now open for flirting.
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07-22-2011 15:32
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has been on so many blind dates I should get a free guide dog!
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07-22-2011 15:00 by
twan
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American presidents: ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☻
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07-22-2011 14:42
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If you get drunk, don't worry. I'll let my sex drive.
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07-22-2011 14:26
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I don't mean to sound sleezy but tease me I don't want it if it's that easy.
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07-22-2011 14:23 by
2PAC
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All I heard was, "I swear it'll be funny"... Then we were in jail.
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07-22-2011 14:23 by
SuthernFukr
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In today's economy, a picture is only worth about 250 words.
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07-22-2011 14:22 by
SuthernFukr
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The correct answer to "How are you?" is "Fine." If you ever stray from that dialogue, please know that nobody gives a sh!t.
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07-22-2011 14:02 by
SuthernFukr
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Most cocaine addicts don't even like cocaine, they just use it as an excuse to put dollar bills up their nose.
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07-22-2011 14:01 by
SuthernFukr
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I just had a SPIDER try webbing down on me this morning in the shower. Let me tell you, that'll kill a morning wood REAL quick!
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07-22-2011 13:49
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there is always that one pair of socks you can never get off, by just using your big toe!
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07-22-2011 13:46
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