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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Mom, you know I love you, but I am not adding you on facebook.
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08-17-2011 08:15
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I admit I am from the old school, but since when did bathrooms become photobooths?
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08-17-2011 08:12
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Never tell a woman to shut up, just kiss her damnit.
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08-17-2011 08:08
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You know you have been SINGLE enough when you start making up abbreviations of the word SINGLE like the loser below.
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08-17-2011 08:01
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The Wizard of Oz is 70 years old. Today, if Dorothy were to encounter men with no brains, no hearts, and no balls, she wouldn't be in Oz. She would be in congress
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08-17-2011 06:19 by
Tanner
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The Wizard of Oz is 70 years old. Today, if Dorothy were to encounter men with no brains, no hearts, and no balls, she wouldn't be in Oz.
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08-17-2011 06:18 by
tkt
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Today, I told a girl she was pretty. She wasn't. Call me fake, but that smile on her face was real.
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08-17-2011 06:16
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Don't stare at me. Because then I have to stare back at you and, why make me suffer?
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08-17-2011 05:35 by
KISSTOPHER
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The sexual position 69 will now be known as 96, due to the economy, it now cost more to eat out.
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08-17-2011 05:27
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I know there is plenty of fish in the sea but I am looking for a mermaid.
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08-17-2011 04:58
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Before I let you sit at my table I gotta see what you bringing to it.
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08-17-2011 04:55
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Damnit, I have eaten all my popcorn and the movie has not even started.
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08-17-2011 04:42
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I bet if I lick that spot then you won't act like that.
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08-17-2011 04:40
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I happened upon a KKK rally. I said, "The only races you rednecks recognize are Indy and Daytona."
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08-17-2011 04:28 by
Mick F
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Some people live one life, then tweet another.
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08-17-2011 04:18
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Drag my name through the mud and I will still come out clean.
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08-17-2011 04:09
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like you've never tried to squeeze your eyes to shoot with x-ray beams
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08-17-2011 04:02
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no prison can hold him, but a lot of prisoners will.
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08-17-2011 04:00
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I like to scare deaf people by yawning.
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08-17-2011 03:59
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Some people don't realize they lost a good thing until they see the next person enjoying and appreciating it.Then suddenly they want it back.
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08-17-2011 03:53 by
The VOICE
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