My girlfriend's ex walked over to me the other day and asked… "So how does it feel enjoying 2nd hand goods?" I said, "Doesn't bother me, actually once you get past the 1st 3 inches, the rest is all brand new."
next time a doctor tells you to cut your alcohol intake, tell them that wine is made from fruit, brandy is distilled wine, and beer is made from grain, cutting back on alcohol will reduce my 5-a-day!
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07-27-2011 11:03 by @dj_soltrix
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They sent my Census form back-AGAIN!!! In response to the question: "Do you have any dependents?" I replied - "12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads; 8.5 million unemployed people, 7 million in prisons; millions in every state collecting.