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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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You know your getting older when...At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
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07-31-2011 10:07 by
hihuggiehi
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At the Bar, going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home..
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07-31-2011 09:39
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the sky is so clear today ...Watch out for God will be seeing us in a very high resolution
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07-31-2011 09:26 by
maha awada
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bets that in prison everyone's relationship status is set to "it's complicated".
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07-31-2011 08:49
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TIPS FOR SUCCESS WITH WOMEN: (1) Don't be ugly. Should you be Ugly, Dont be Broke!
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07-31-2011 08:41
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My action figure would come with action sold separately.
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07-31-2011 08:39 by
jexet
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My life's motto: "Live every week as if its shark week"
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07-31-2011 05:55 by
flinnie
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I'm not that sympathetic to reports that Kim Kardashian suffers from a skin condition. She can change her taste in men any time.
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07-31-2011 05:51
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I'm off to work... not because I want to, but because I'm cleverly disguised as a responsible adult, and I don't want to blow my cover!
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07-31-2011 04:43
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"Guys insult each other and don't really mean it. Girls compliment each other and don't really mean it either."
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07-31-2011 01:16 | Tags: Filtered
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I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, “Hello?” As if the bad guy is gonna be like, “Yeah, I'm in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?”
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07-30-2011 22:59 by
BrandonTiits\'mcgee
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Raid should make suppositories for all the people with bugs up their asses.
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07-30-2011 22:17
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I think humans should hibernate. We could use an extra month of sleep. Too many cranky people.
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07-30-2011 19:11 by
Casey Reds
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Just thinking about how rediculously good looking I am.
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07-30-2011 18:29 by
STOSTATUS
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When the Beatles said they were "bigger than Jesus" they were right. 'Cause people were way shorter back then in Jesus times
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07-30-2011 16:12
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All the autotune in the world still doesn't sound as cool as talking into a desk fan
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07-30-2011 15:44
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still a free agent mulling over my options. I will however continue to entertain decent offers.
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07-30-2011 15:33
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Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if we were all of the same race!
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07-30-2011 15:16 by
IMAGINE
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gets more laughs out of his farts compared to certain things written here!
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07-30-2011 14:46
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Note to U.S. Politicians: You can't borrow yourself out of debt, no one can. It's like you're trying to drink yourself sober.
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07-30-2011 14:35 by
Greg
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