Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Remember give everything a chance.. That way later in life you can look back and say you give it a shot..

   Rum, Dr. Pepper, and the Curse of the Black Pearl. The end to a great weekend!

   I wonder what that commercial with the corndog slapping the guy in the face would be like with the "Benny Hill" theme song played over it?.........

   Why is it when someone is under water on TV, I hold my breath also?

   Vampires will only truly love girls four days out of the month, period.

   "Lets watch a scary movie!" *several hours later* "Dude, walk with me to the bathroom"

   PMS is just women ovary acting.

   You know why lesbians are so fat...because there always eating out..!!!

   if I had a dollar for everytime I wished I had a dollar....

   my dogs weird. I flip him off and he just wags his tail

   Big Shout out goin out to all the pretty chics that look ugly when they turn the lights on at the end of the night in the club. You're all special in the dark. =)

   That #MomentOfPanic when in the middle of showing your girlfriend a video on your phone.......another girl calls

   Who needs soap operas, talk shows, reality tv, newspapers, and books when there is facebook

   If she drinks apple juice she is too young for you bro

   even the sweetest memories have a bitter taste

   Sometimes my LOL just means, Lack-Of-Laughter

   two young boys are lying in a snow bank outside of church with their pants down. when asked what they were doing they said "father likes a couple cold ones before mass begins"

   when the truth is gone.. the relationship is over.

   Since I don't know how to draw I decided to be an artist

   Who's that sexy beast…………..oh I clicked on my own profile again!!