Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If you will lie about the little things, before long you'll lie about bigger things

   Be the one to stand out in the crowd

   You may think there is a lot wrong with you, but there is also a lot right with you

   bored..going to start deleting people who dont reply within minutes of my texts

   If you live in Texas and gained weight this summer, shame on you!

   Any man can admire your frame but a real man will admire the masterpiece within the frame.

   If you call my house and fail to leave a message, you deserve to be screened.

   Once you graduate college, pigtails become shorthand for "daddy issues."

   The very moment I can imagine a really hot girl taking a dump, is the very second I'm no longer attracted to her

   Changed your status to complicated? Can't decide which hand to use?

   Blonde goes to the doctor very upset..."i have these dark circles under my eyes n no matter how much sleep I get they wont go away"....."maam, those r ur nostrils" @_@

   I have said it before and I will say it again. IT

   Your pictures would look a lot better if they were real.

   If A-B-C-D didn't drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn't have to be so rushed.

   I hate it when people are holding a device capable of using google and they ask me stupid questions.

   TSA has announced Nude scanning . Now women have to diet not only for swim wear but going to the airport too!

   The Internet is the world's greatest source of things you don't really need.

   I don't think the economy has turned around so much as it has backed over us and parked.

   Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long? I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

   I always say, "If you can't say anything nice, we have a lot in common. "