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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Being faithful to your boyfriend or girlfriend should be common sense. But there is always that one retard that did not get the memo.
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08-04-2011 12:32 by
KISSTOPHER
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Ghetto word of the day: HOTEL. My momma said she ain't gonna tell Shaqueta nothing else cause that hotel every thang she hears.
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08-04-2011 12:26
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A journey of ten feet begins with a single “Where the #%!= is the remote?”
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08-04-2011 12:26 by
SuthernFukr
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Me? Stalk? No, I just observe... behind a tree... at night…in the rain.
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08-04-2011 12:24 by
BAD GUY
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If you're a dude writing *hides* or *crying* on your messages, I am going to assume you are the kind that like it in the butt.
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08-04-2011 12:23 by
BAD GUY
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has enough wiper wash for 78 butterflies, after that I'm screwed!
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08-04-2011 11:56 by
Goodeolboy
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I don't think I will ever be mature enough to keep from laughing everytime I see a shake-weight commercial.
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08-04-2011 11:23
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Seems like most rioting in the world happens in the countries with the least bacon.
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08-04-2011 10:31 by
Brades
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I wish I could help run a country into the ground and still take a $100,000 trip for my birthday... btw, your welcomed Obama for your birthday trip.
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08-04-2011 08:47
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A villain is feared in proportion to the quality of his henchmen.
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08-04-2011 08:38
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A Villain is judged by the quality of his henchmen.
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08-04-2011 08:26
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You can't spell slaughter without laughter!
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08-04-2011 06:15 by
Jackbrass
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Fact: If you break a $100 bill to buy something you will spend the rest before the day is up.
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08-04-2011 05:54 by
Marshall the Great
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Randon thots by KG: If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
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08-04-2011 05:51 by
KG
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Like this status if you know someone who's only alive because you don't want to go to jail...
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08-04-2011 05:16 by
Marshall the Great
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My girl told me that her fantasy f*ck would be Brad Pitt. Then she went mental because I told her mine. Apparently Amber from next door wasn't a good answer,
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08-04-2011 04:53 by
Marshall the Great
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Do you ever just look at someone and "Why?" is the only thing you can come up with?
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08-04-2011 04:42 by
Marshall the Great
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"Okay! Well who's ready to help me set this entire house on fire?" - Me, if I hosted "Hoarders," five seconds into every episode.
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08-04-2011 04:38 by
Marshall the Great
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"Oh well... screw it!" - What I say before I hit "send" on most of my Facebook status updates.
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08-04-2011 04:31 by
Marshall the Great
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I'm surprised that the government hasn't tried to force me to be normal yet.
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08-04-2011 04:28 by
Marshall the Great
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