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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I generally don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
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08-11-2011 08:30 by
Marshall the Great
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Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
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08-11-2011 08:28 by
Marshall the Great
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Society needs both optimists and pessimists. For example, an optimist invented the airplane while a pessimist invented the parachute.
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08-11-2011 08:25 by
Marshall the Great
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Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
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08-11-2011 08:24
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wondering if you choke a smurf......what color will he turn??
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08-11-2011 08:04 | Tags: Filtered
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Few things broadcast one's idiocy like driving a car that has wheels that look like they cost more than the car itself.
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08-11-2011 08:00 by
Marshall the Great
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What a day, I'm so tired already! I sent three faxes, answered the phone once, had lunch, made a paper airplane and sent 452 updates.
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08-11-2011 07:48 by
Marshall the Great
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Wow, some people will do anything for a "like" on Facebook. Anyways if you agree like my status.
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08-11-2011 07:38 by
Marshall the Great
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The benefit of always going in to work late is that when you're on time, people think you're early.
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08-11-2011 07:29 by
Marshall the Great
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Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
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08-11-2011 07:25 by
Marshall the Great
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May those who love us love us, and those who do not love us, may God turn their hearts, and if He cannot turn their hearts may He turn their ankles that we may know them by their limping.
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08-11-2011 07:23
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due to the london roits , london calling and anarchy in the uk sales have soared
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08-11-2011 06:10 by
baloo
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I wish I had more cents, scents, or sense!
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08-11-2011 02:36 by
Dee
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We get it, London, you're better at rioting than Vancouver, you can stop now.
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08-11-2011 01:55 by
flinnie
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Just saw graffiti of someone's Twitter name. It's official- the world is ending.
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08-11-2011 01:43 by
flinnie
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ever look at your old pillow without its case? Looks like a civil war bandage. Do our heads ooze syrup when we sleep?
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08-11-2011 01:37 by
flinnie
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I don't spank my kid, I find waving the gun works so much better
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08-11-2011 01:34 by
flinnie
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Watching Nat geographic channel all day, I now know how not to smuggle drugs across our border and how to Breakout of jail if I'm locked up abroad.
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08-10-2011 22:43
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I am so hungry I can eat a horse and a small fries.
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08-10-2011 21:01 by
@LiarAllDay
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Any time there is large scale civil disorder, it makes one realize the extent to which society is based on consensus and trust.
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08-10-2011 19:47 by
@twittername
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