Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon someone ended a tweet to me with "STFU." I've no doubt they were referring to St. Fu the patron saint of long mustaches.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 07:28 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up. They have no holidays.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 06:53 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon The irony of a blow job; Even though you've got her on her knees, she still has got you by the balls!
←Rate | 09-02-2011 05:59 by KISSTOPHER | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I can make ONE person smile, laugh, or feel good about themselves every single day, then my purpose on this earth has been fulfilled. Everything else is there just to pass the time.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 04:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Admit it, we all feel much worse for the homeless guy's dog than we do for the homeless guy
←Rate | 09-02-2011 04:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I challenge you to name a more frightening experience than seeing a police car make a u-turn behind you
←Rate | 09-02-2011 04:17 by flinnie Comments (3)  


   messageicon I really hope the guy from Microsoft can take some time out from his busy schedule to read the hundreds of error reports I send him daily
←Rate | 09-02-2011 04:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had to put my pet rock to sleep. It attacked all my pet scissors.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 04:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts
←Rate | 09-02-2011 03:12 by Adri Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's three ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way and the way that I do it.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 03:05 by Adri Comments (0)  


   messageicon You are never quite as entertaining as when you come home from your night shift, walk head first thru a spider web, and dance the "Unmanly Web Tango" for the delight of all your neighbors, your teenage son, and his friends at the bus stop.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 03:02 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being dyslexic has drawbacks. I once went to a toga party dressed as a goat
←Rate | 09-02-2011 01:35 by dyoung Comments (0)  


   messageicon And Jesus said to His disciples, "Follow me....on twitter."
←Rate | 09-02-2011 01:25 by @iamGoshJrissom Comments (0)  


   messageicon if cows could fly, would they all migrate to India?
←Rate | 09-02-2011 01:21 by ARM Comments (0)  


   messageicon A real woman not accept expensive gifts from a man she is not attracted to and has no intention of dating. But a gold-digger would.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 01:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someday we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 00:45 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are you thinking what I'm thinking that I think that you're thinking I'm thinking because if you think that I think that I ... wait what were we thinking about?
←Rate | 09-02-2011 00:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Barbie is going to be so happy. She is getting over the fact that Ken comes in a different box.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 20:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With gold prices so high, and considering how much Goldschläger that I drink, I'm taking my turds down to cash4gold.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 19:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having sex is like riding a bicycle. It's fun till your ass starts to hurt and the chain comes off.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 19:57 Comments (0)  



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