Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I told a lie just to earn some money." "Christ will forgive you, remember to put money into the donation box."
←Rate | 09-04-2011 13:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I forgive people, but that doesn't mean I trust them thereafter.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 13:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's with people who come on Facebook to announce that they are in a bad mood and they want to be left alone, so no one should text or call them? No one was ever going text/call your cranky a$$ anyways.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 13:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon there is one thing I really don't find funny, and that is people trying to be funny
←Rate | 09-04-2011 13:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon was standing in line at the ATM the other day when a elderly lady asked me to help her check her balance. So I pushed her
←Rate | 09-04-2011 12:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it odd that plenty of fish lets you search for a girl who does drugs often? I guess I have never woke up and said "Wow, I sure wish I could meet a nice meth head somehow"
←Rate | 09-04-2011 12:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
←Rate | 09-04-2011 12:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm more confused than an infant in a titty bar.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 11:55 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I concentrate real hard, it starts to smell like incense.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 11:55 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Strike while the iron is hot" is pretty violent advice, but I guess if I'm hitting someone with an iron it might as well be hot.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 11:43 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon It recently became apparent to me that the letters 'T' and 'G' are far too close together on a keyboard.This is why I'll never be ending an e-mail with the phrase"Regards"ever again.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 11:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon at least the Notre Dame crowd Evacuated Like A Champion Yesterday
←Rate | 09-04-2011 10:08 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes when an attractive woman starts talking to me I forget how to speak and just start doing lunges.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 10:05 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I met a girl the other day. She said it's a must for her mate to be into the arts. I told her I am very much into the arts... the art of beer drinking, the art of watching football, and the art of long walks on the beach after anal.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 09:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thank goodness pets can't talk, they know way too much.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 09:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q: Why are single women skinnier than married women? A: Single women go to the fridge, see nothing nice and then go to bed. Married women go to bed, see nothing nice and then go to the fridge.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 08:09 by AnnaMariaPastaFazoola Comments (0)  


   messageicon told my girlfriend .. "if you ever want to try anal sex, I'll be behind you all the way"!!
←Rate | 09-04-2011 08:02 by me Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why Are there always TWO bathtubs? And they're outside? ....... Wrong,, Wrong,, Wrong,, These people don't need a little blue pill,, they need counsuling....
←Rate | 09-04-2011 06:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm more scared than Barack Obama at a Willie Nelson concert.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 06:11 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon After watching Transformers, I just spent an hour in my garage telling my car that I know his secret. Maybe he's just shy.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 06:10 Comments (0)  



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