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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Fellas : not a day should go by that your lady doesn't hear she's beautiful .
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08-23-2011 16:46
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Women may be the only thing that are easier to pick up as they get heavier.
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08-23-2011 16:04 by
Marshall the Great
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Though I was shuffling at work, turns out it was an earthquake..
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08-23-2011 15:59
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You can't really blame Noah for not knowing the two unicorns were gay.
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08-23-2011 15:56 by
Marshall the Great
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“You ask.” “No, you ask!” “Will you please ask?” “Why can't you ask?” “Fine… Hey my FRIEND wants to ask you something!”
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08-23-2011 15:53 by
Marshall the Great
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I think “Recession” is when your neighbor loses his job. “Depression” is when you lose yours. And “Recovery” is when Obama loses his.
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08-23-2011 15:48 by
Marshall the Great
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Ever noticed that things are so much funnier when you're not supposed to laugh and you know it's so wrong to?!
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08-23-2011 15:47 by
Marshall the Great
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A slut is simply a woman with the morals of a man.
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08-23-2011 15:42 by
Marshall the Great
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Earthquake- 1 ......my pants- 0 .....who knew that the earthquake would cause a mudslide.........
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08-23-2011 15:41 by
chris
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When I ask my deaf girlfriend to have sex, I make her tug my pen!s once for "yes" and 50 times for "no"
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08-23-2011 15:40 by
Marshall the Great
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Beware: Things get pretty messy when you let a Snickers REALLY satisfy you.
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08-23-2011 15:38 by
Marshall the Great
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I had sex with an ohmless person last night. There was very little resistance. (most of you will be too dumb to get this)
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08-23-2011 15:36 by
Marshall the Great
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If you get any dumber, you might wanna put your helmet on.
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08-23-2011 15:33 by
Marshall the Great
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President Obama felt the Virginia Earthquake at the White House where he said it was centered on the George Bush Fault Line.
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08-23-2011 15:31 by
@callahan4life
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Life is what you make it! I made it into a bottle of booze and chugged the whole bottle in one sitting and then threw the bottle at a tree.
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08-23-2011 15:30 by
Marshall the Great
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You've really got to hand it to short people. Because they often can't reach it.
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08-23-2011 15:29 by
Marshall the Great
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There was just a 5.8 earthquake in Washington. Obama wanted it to be 3.4, but the Republicans wanted 5.8, so he compromised.
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08-23-2011 15:15 by
Aaron
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feel so dissed the earthquake missed me. anyone else wanna rock my world?
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08-23-2011 15:10 by
@mollyfaerie
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in support of our brothers and sisters who just experienced the earthquake on the east coast, I think all west coasters should have the rest of the day off!!!
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08-23-2011 14:55 by
KG
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I think Haiti should send Washington money for the next 19 months now!
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08-23-2011 14:51 by
zman87
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