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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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To me women are like wine: I can only afford the really cheap ones that have the big, ugly boxes that leak.
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08-25-2011 05:06
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UNDENIABLE FACTS 101: You were born because, your parents had sex.
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08-25-2011 05:01
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I heard you are good at mathematics! Can you replace my X without asking Y?
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08-25-2011 04:51
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Don't love the person who "enjoys" with you. Love the person who "suffers" without you.
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08-25-2011 04:45
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The Red Plastic Cup.... Making you feel like 15 to 24 years old again!
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08-25-2011 04:24 by
DLO
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Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money.
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08-25-2011 02:44
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I heard that Steve Jobs was trying to type "I reign as CEO of Apple!" on his iPhone, but the autocorrect got him.
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08-25-2011 02:33 by
@realskb
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If I put half as much effort into my relationships as I put into charging my phone I might not die alone...
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08-25-2011 02:08
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I just heard Steve Jobs Resigned from Apple Computers. His last thing to show people today was called a iquit.....
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08-25-2011 00:53 by
Oregon
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15% of men see " <3 " as a heart. 85% see " <3 " as a party hat on boobs.
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08-25-2011 00:49 by
Bear
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Saw a lady in line at grocery store... Could tell she was single by the ammount of cat food she bought
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08-25-2011 00:38
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Texting+Facebook=Textbook. So..., I'm studying?
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08-25-2011 00:18 by
sam eto
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your shoes so cheap, you click'em three times and you end up in a crackhouse
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08-25-2011 00:14 by
L
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hears Gold dropped 104.00 per ounce today...let's start working on the economic bail-out package for Mr. T.
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08-24-2011 23:18 by
Vybe
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iWon't make any lame Steve Jobs jokes
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08-24-2011 23:14 by
Hooch
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Eminem and Bruno Mars mixed together would a yummy candy bar
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08-24-2011 22:39 by
missxtina
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i go through my "friends who are on chat" list and see whose on thinking to myself which ones I would have sex with
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08-24-2011 22:19 by
calistheman
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Most memorable quote by a mother: "Waldo, just where the hell have you been?"
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08-24-2011 20:44 by
Fred from Texas
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My list of things that are great: bills, traffic, the NBA lockout, the recession, Obama's plans.... Oh! and sarcasm.
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08-24-2011 20:27
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I don't like bragging, hipsters, but wearing ugly clothes that don't fit was my thing in 3rd grade. Also dumb glasses and bad music.
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08-24-2011 20:24
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