To all the people who failed out of high school, just remember two things: 1) At least you tried your best, and 2) I said NO tomatoes on my burger, b!tch!
A man buys a box of tampons for his old lady, and the cashier asks, "Do you want me to put these in the bag". The man replies, "No, I think she can do it by herself."
My friend posted on Facebook saying, "Rhianna is the greatest artist evar <<<<3" For some reason she got annoyed when I said, "No way, Chris Brown beats Rhianna any day!"