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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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You can't always decide who walks into your life, but you can decide which window to throw them out of.
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09-20-2011 06:01
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Dont tell me you are missing me when you are not doing anything about it.
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09-20-2011 05:58
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Fat women stay buying bikinis...Walking around the beach looking like a biscuit wrapped in rubberbands
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09-20-2011 05:56
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I need all my haters to do a favor for me real quick: Go plank on a machete.
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09-20-2011 05:52
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I just gave some moron a banana for his birthday.
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09-20-2011 05:51
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A word to the wise ain't necessary, its the stupid ones that need the advice..
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09-20-2011 05:38
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Some moron gave me a banana for my birthday
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09-20-2011 05:19
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Raise your hand if you are one of those people who have to publicly announce that they're in love...and with that hand, b*tch-slap yourself.
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09-20-2011 05:18
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I am going to come out with a personal credit card reader and call it the "As swipe"
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09-20-2011 04:29
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A girl who only gives hand jobs is most likely the same b*tch who gives out apples on Halloween
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09-20-2011 02:05
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Back in the day. How long did it take people to catch on and realize that the one guy who implemented putting up his middle finger meant "fvck you"
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09-20-2011 01:54
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My Beta player just died, I guess I need to buck up and finally buy a VHS player. SMH!
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09-20-2011 01:26
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I don't care how old you are , if you don't respect me i'm not respecting you .
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09-20-2011 00:30
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Touch someone's hand and you make them smile. Touch their heart and you make them cry. Touch their @ss and you get hit with sexual assault charges.
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09-20-2011 00:29
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I watched Major league last night where Charlie sheen was known for his fast ball. Ironically.....he is now known for his 8-ball
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09-20-2011 00:11 by
Shuttdogg
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ladies, sure what you've been through is heroic. but what I've made you go through is Epic!
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09-19-2011 23:57 by
gee
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Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
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09-19-2011 23:18 by
Saarge
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Now a days I noticed that kids are eating their boogers. Not once have I ever looked at my own slimy snot when I was kid and thought it looked scrumptious.
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09-19-2011 23:14
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Recently engaged, now I gotta hold in my farts til we get married.
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09-19-2011 23:11
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Why are there some skinny girls modeling jeans on a Lane Bryant commercial?!
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09-19-2011 23:10
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