Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon You can't always decide who walks into your life, but you can decide which window to throw them out of.
←Rate | 09-20-2011 06:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont tell me you are missing me when you are not doing anything about it.
←Rate | 09-20-2011 05:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fat women stay buying bikinis...Walking around the beach looking like a biscuit wrapped in rubberbands
←Rate | 09-20-2011 05:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need all my haters to do a favor for me real quick: Go plank on a machete.
←Rate | 09-20-2011 05:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just gave some moron a banana for his birthday.
←Rate | 09-20-2011 05:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A word to the wise ain't necessary, its the stupid ones that need the advice..
←Rate | 09-20-2011 05:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some moron gave me a banana for my birthday
←Rate | 09-20-2011 05:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Raise your hand if you are one of those people who have to publicly announce that they're in love...and with that hand, b*tch-slap yourself.
←Rate | 09-20-2011 05:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am going to come out with a personal credit card reader and call it the "As swipe"
←Rate | 09-20-2011 04:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A girl who only gives hand jobs is most likely the same b*tch who gives out apples on Halloween
←Rate | 09-20-2011 02:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back in the day. How long did it take people to catch on and realize that the one guy who implemented putting up his middle finger meant "fvck you"
←Rate | 09-20-2011 01:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Beta player just died, I guess I need to buck up and finally buy a VHS player. SMH!
←Rate | 09-20-2011 01:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care how old you are , if you don't respect me i'm not respecting you .
←Rate | 09-20-2011 00:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Touch someone's hand and you make them smile. Touch their heart and you make them cry. Touch their @ss and you get hit with sexual assault charges.
←Rate | 09-20-2011 00:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I watched Major league last night where Charlie sheen was known for his fast ball. Ironically.....he is now known for his 8-ball
←Rate | 09-20-2011 00:11 by Shuttdogg Comments (0)  


   messageicon ladies, sure what you've been through is heroic. but what I've made you go through is Epic!
←Rate | 09-19-2011 23:57 by gee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
←Rate | 09-19-2011 23:18 by Saarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now a days I noticed that kids are eating their boogers. Not once have I ever looked at my own slimy snot when I was kid and thought it looked scrumptious.
←Rate | 09-19-2011 23:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Recently engaged, now I gotta hold in my farts til we get married.
←Rate | 09-19-2011 23:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are there some skinny girls modeling jeans on a Lane Bryant commercial?!
←Rate | 09-19-2011 23:10 Comments (0)  



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