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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today.
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09-20-2011 10:02 by
SuthernFukr
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I don't drink to forget, I… what was I saying?
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09-20-2011 10:01 by
SuthernFukr
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a sneaking suspicion that we've read this before. if you read them here 5 or 10 pages ago odds are we did too.
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09-20-2011 09:44 by
hoosiergatorfan
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would you lke a tampon with that status you moody b*tch
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09-20-2011 09:04
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Dont Ask Don't Tell policy is no more in the U.S. Military Time for a party I'll bring the beer you bring the rear
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09-20-2011 08:23 by
sgtbutt
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Damn, my foot's asleep, now it's going to be up all night.
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09-20-2011 07:57 by
K-Mac
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Only in West Virginia would see a bumper sticker that reads "Proud parent of a nephew"
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09-20-2011 07:47 by
K-Mac
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Sort of rude to kiss your husband right in front of me when I've been looking at your boobs from behind a tree for 20 min.
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09-20-2011 07:18 by
flinnie
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It seems like it's too early in the week to give up, but it isn't.
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09-20-2011 07:18 by
flinnie
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I didn't change, My standards did.
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09-20-2011 06:04
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You can't always decide who walks into your life, but you can decide which window to throw them out of.
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09-20-2011 06:01
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Dont tell me you are missing me when you are not doing anything about it.
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09-20-2011 05:58
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Fat women stay buying bikinis...Walking around the beach looking like a biscuit wrapped in rubberbands
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09-20-2011 05:56
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I need all my haters to do a favor for me real quick: Go plank on a machete.
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09-20-2011 05:52
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I just gave some moron a banana for his birthday.
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09-20-2011 05:51
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A word to the wise ain't necessary, its the stupid ones that need the advice..
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09-20-2011 05:38
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Some moron gave me a banana for my birthday
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09-20-2011 05:19
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Raise your hand if you are one of those people who have to publicly announce that they're in love...and with that hand, b*tch-slap yourself.
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09-20-2011 05:18
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I am going to come out with a personal credit card reader and call it the "As swipe"
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09-20-2011 04:29
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A girl who only gives hand jobs is most likely the same b*tch who gives out apples on Halloween
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09-20-2011 02:05
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