Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
4468
4469
4470
4471
4472
4473
4474
4475
5577
Next»
Page: 4472 of 5577
Always pick the girl smoking ultra-light cigarettes... it means she's used to sucking a little harder to get what she wants.
81
18
←Rate |
09-06-2011 15:22 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
I like to keep a picture of myself in my wallet so when people show me pictures of their kids I can show them a pic of me not giving a sh!t.
153
27
←Rate |
09-06-2011 15:11 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
We're F*cked. The president in 2050 is going to have Tribal sleeves and use the word "bro" in all his presidential speeches.
28
24
←Rate |
09-06-2011 15:07 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
The University of Maryland uniforms were so ugly that a University of Miami player was overheard saying "You couldn't pay me to wear those uniforms"
6
10
←Rate |
09-06-2011 15:03 by
DDoyle
Comments (
0
)
Never say “that won't happen to me!”, because life has a funny way of proving us wrong.
25
9
←Rate |
09-06-2011 14:59 by
BEGO
Comments (
0
)
Girls say the only man they can trust is their dad, men say the only girl they can trust is the one they're having an affair with :P
11
7
←Rate |
09-06-2011 14:58
Comments (
0
)
I miss the metal slides that would give you 3rd degree burns on a hot summers day...Goodtimes!!
69
13
←Rate |
09-06-2011 14:57 by
bryan j brown
Comments (
0
)
I'm not addicted to Facebook. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
20
11
←Rate |
09-06-2011 14:56 by
BEGO
Comments (
0
)
Textaphrenia – thinking you've heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.
28
5
←Rate |
09-06-2011 14:55 by
BEGO
Comments (
0
)
I just changed my voicemail greeting: Please hang up and text me.
77
14
←Rate |
09-06-2011 14:54 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
these kids today are lucky they have the soft plastic jungle-gyms with straw padding the ground..Instead of those broken down wooden death traps we had too play on as kids with that soft cement to break your fall...
27
6
←Rate |
09-06-2011 14:54 by
bryan j brown
Comments (
0
)
Almost choked to death on some broccoli but no way, I ain't going out like that.
32
11
←Rate |
09-06-2011 14:50 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
Honestly, I would prefer to look back at my life and say, "I can't believe I did that!" Than instead of saying, "I wish I did that..."
37
12
←Rate |
09-06-2011 14:48 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
considering the irony of someone actually "butt-dialing" their proctologist
13
7
←Rate |
09-06-2011 14:44
Comments (
0
)
Texting while lonely can be just as dangerous as texting while driving.
22
6
←Rate |
09-06-2011 14:38
Comments (
0
)
I love being called silly, strange, weird, different, odd, etc. I always take it as a compliment.
23
10
←Rate |
09-06-2011 14:33
Comments (
0
)
Nobody Dates Anymore, Everybody has a ''Thing" with someone.
55
11
←Rate |
09-06-2011 14:09
Comments (
0
)
When I die I want to be be reincarnated as a spider. Just so I can finally hear a women say "Oh my God, it's huge!"
114
22
←Rate |
09-06-2011 13:56
Comments (
0
)
Ah, Sarcasm. What would I ever do without you?
31
7
←Rate |
09-06-2011 13:55
Comments (
0
)
Just read my daughter's diary & I'm shocked and horrified by her spelling: "Falayshio" "Vycoton" "Kill Prinsaple." It's embarrassing.
28
16
←Rate |
09-06-2011 13:15 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
4468
4469
4470
4471
4472
4473
4474
4475
5577
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com