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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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When I don't need it, I find it. When I need it, I can't find it! I guess I don't need it...
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09-10-2011 02:01
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lol, Any of you morons ever hear of snopes? Stop hating on Pepsi....
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09-10-2011 00:47 by
bill
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Wow Pepsi didnt put "Under God" on their new Pledge of Allegiance Can. They don't want to offend any one with the phrase. Well Pepsi I promise not to give you any coins or bills with "In God We Trust" on them. I dont want to offend you or anything.
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09-09-2011 23:49 by
JBabcock
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The GOP's answer to Obamacare-Call us when you are shovel ready.
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09-09-2011 23:22 by
paganson
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A history of 9/11 this weekend. I'll be watching. Peace: the ultimate want. If everyone would bend, we'd have this... CJ
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09-09-2011 22:41
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before the letters FDNY became a fashion statement on hats, it was worn on the back of brave dudes with mustaches, NEVER FORGET
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09-09-2011 22:09 by
migasjoe
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I attend wedding simply to hear them two beautiful words that bring so many happy people together...."open bar"
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09-09-2011 21:51 by
@cdowney84
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I remember 9 months before I was born I went to a party with dad and left with mom.
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09-09-2011 20:07
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I hope these "reduced guilt" brownies help me get over that hobo I murdered
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09-09-2011 19:05 by
flinnie
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I have a reoccurring nightmare that I am startled by bank robbers who shout "EVERYBODY GET DOWN!" and I get shot in the face for dancing.
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09-09-2011 19:02 by
flinnie
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4 out of 5 bubble baths result in Santa Claus beards.
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09-09-2011 19:02 by
flinnie
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I'm sorry I ran over your dog but in my defense I was texting! You're being awfully judgemental for a blind man
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09-09-2011 19:01 by
flinnie
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"Porn stash" sounds too seedy. I prefer to call it my "Guybrary."
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09-09-2011 18:59 by
flinnie
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☐ Single ☐ Taken ☑ I will die alone with 73 cats
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09-09-2011 18:04
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I am tired of reading other peoples' fairytales; it's time for me to start writing my own.
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09-09-2011 18:02
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When I don't need it, I find it. When I need it, I can't find it.
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09-09-2011 17:54
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Somebody needs to invent a mirror that takes pictures.
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09-09-2011 17:44
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Ladies: Never make an important decision while you're on your period.
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09-09-2011 17:33 by
KISSTOPHER
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During sex, do you think midgets do it puppystyle?
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09-09-2011 17:27 by
BAD GUY
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I blame movies for my high expectations in relationships
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09-09-2011 17:25
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