Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon told his secretary this morning that her vocabulary was abominable to which she responded by asking me to keep her stocmach out of the question!
←Rate | 09-26-2011 15:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex can not ruin a friendship! Thats like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 14:40 by Ronnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook is about to start charging. If you want to keep your free account then go to your profile, take your right hand and punch yourself in the taint until it turns blue. Then post the picture and video on your profile.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 13:54 by Ghostman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time a car passes by me with an old matress strapped down to the top, I often wonder if there is that little possibilty that a prostitue could be making a house call!
←Rate | 09-26-2011 13:48 by challenger srt8 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am not looking at you, I am looking past you.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 13:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says "I'm a heartless,souless,low life,bottom feeding,inbred,motherf*cking scuz bag" like holding up a protest sign at a funeral.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 13:13 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I turn 69...(please feel free to finish this one)
←Rate | 09-26-2011 13:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure..
←Rate | 09-26-2011 13:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Certain people come into your life as a blessing, others as a lesson and a few as a punishment.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 13:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people have Spiders as pets? It's not like tarantulas are cuddly or anything. I refuse to have a “pet” whose secret fantasy is finally being able to wrap me in a cocoon.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 12:23 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's sad but Stevie Wonder's gotten so heavy he can't see his d*ck anymore.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 12:22 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when some popular girl form high school goes on an on about her life. I'm like woman shut your hole. Your mouth's had more pr*cks in it than a tavern dartboard.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 12:21 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate it when you see a kid picking her nose in public and her Mom , who is aware, thinks it's “cute”. Makes me want to say “Eat it. It's finger licking good.”
←Rate | 09-26-2011 12:20 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon What the deuce!! Talk about a knee trembling, ball tingling experience 2 start your day! Natural Source mint and tea tree shower gel is awesome!!! :)
←Rate | 09-26-2011 12:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hello, I am the new Facebook Representative in your area. You can give me your check or money order for $29.99 a month for your account to stay actvie...
←Rate | 09-26-2011 11:38 by FLoZFan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I meow back at cats.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 11:32 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you plan on meeting someone on facebook who has no pictures on their profile page. A word of caution. Better you should bury your face in Rosie O'Donnell's a$$ for 6 hours, than hook up with that monster.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 11:23 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was just awarded the first place trophy for laziness. All I need now is for someone to accept it on my behalf.
←Rate | 09-26-2011 10:39 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon When we set our clocks back, will that effect "Hammer Time"?
←Rate | 09-26-2011 10:19 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon An average person thinks he isn't!!
←Rate | 09-26-2011 09:57 by urboyblue Comments (0)  



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