Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Charlie Sheen get $25,000,000 settlement to not work? I did something seriously wrong with my life
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Virgin: Deeper Hooker: Harder Wife: mmm grey would be a nice color for the ceiling
←Rate | 09-27-2011 13:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Idiot friend : man the economy sucks there no jobs anywhere. ME : I'll give you a job, can you start tomorrow? Idiot friend : man I wish I could but I'm busy all day. Me: so how is Gears of War 3? Idiot friend : Fricking awesome man.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 13:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Making love is an art form and there is always some guy who doesn't know how to use his paintbrush. And there is always some girl whose canvas has had one too many brushstrokes.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 13:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The world needs fewer judgmental people." - Some stupid idiot person, probably.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 13:07 by manduh78 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well'p just saw my fb friend count go down a notch... I wonder if it's something I might have said....
←Rate | 09-27-2011 12:46 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just told my girlfriend to call me before she heads home so I will have time to get the beer, smoke and strippers out of here and she "thinks" I was joking.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 12:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who's the most popular guy at the nudist camp? The one carrying two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 12:14 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon A recent independant survey claims that 1 in 10 women wear dirty panties on a regular basis. Not really sure I believe that statistic. Something smells a kinda fishy to me......
←Rate | 09-27-2011 12:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call the useless piece of skin around a vag*na? A woman.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 12:11 by Corn Squeezins | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just told my girlfriend to call me before she heads home so I will have time to get the beer, smoke and strippers out of here and she "thins" I was joking.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 12:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear haters: "Thank you for reminding me that I'm everything that you can never be"
←Rate | 09-27-2011 12:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I breakup with someone, I breakup with their photos, their phone numbers and their memories.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 12:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where did you learn how to whisper? In a damn helicopter? Geeez
←Rate | 09-27-2011 11:48 by b u b entertaining Comments (0)  


   messageicon A slut does anything for any man, a freak does anything for her man, and a lady does anything for one man.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 11:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
←Rate | 09-27-2011 11:36 by ELF Comments (0)  


   messageicon Usually, the easiest thing to do is say you are sorry. But there are times when you realise that in the face of what you have done, saying sorry is just so ridiculous.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 11:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't waste your time worrying about a piece of sh*t that's not worried about you.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 11:23 by NO BODY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got some mail yesterday that says, "Tiime-Sensitive Material Enclosed." So I guess I gotta keep it away from clocks...
←Rate | 09-27-2011 11:22 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere in the world, some stripper is still claiming she is paying her way through college ten years and no degree later.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 11:11 by NO BODY Comments (0)  



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