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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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WELL THE YARD SALE WENT WELL ......$27,000 DOLLARS .......WE WILL BE OFF TO MIAMI FOR A FEW DAYS .....I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE HERE WHEN THE NEIGHBORS NOTCE THEIR BARBEQUE GRILLS, PATIO FURNITURE AND POTTED PLANTS ARE MISSING ..... TA TA !!!!!
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09-28-2011 15:28 by
Omen
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Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says "trust me, you don't want to know."
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09-28-2011 14:58 by
Marshall the Great
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Release frustration wisely: Have angry sex.
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09-28-2011 14:55 by
Marshall the Great
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After seeing Nancy Grace's nipple slip on Dancing With The Stars....I must say I will never eat bologna again!! Thanks alot Nancy!!
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09-28-2011 14:46 by
urboyblue
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We need to stop calling Wednesday "Hump Day." Anyone with children knows that humping doesn't happen on school nights.
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09-28-2011 13:25
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Guess who just discovered the bipolar emoticon? :):
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09-28-2011 13:19 by
CJ
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Face your problems,Don't Facebook them!
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09-28-2011 13:06 by
Lozo
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Some people have thousands of friends on Facebook, then they turn off the computer and they have nobody.
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09-28-2011 13:00
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It sucks when the ugly friend is the only one that is interested in you.
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09-28-2011 12:59
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Saw a Chinese baby and a black kid wave at each other today. Gives me hope for the future. Or another Rush Hour movie
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09-28-2011 12:50 by
@BoyGotJokes
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If you seriously get jealous of them having friends of the opposite sex on Facebook, then your a$$ deserves to be dumped.
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09-28-2011 12:49
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Ghetto Word Of The Day: HOTEL. Usage: I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the hotel everybody.
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09-28-2011 12:46
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Most things are easier said than done, I wish it was the other way around.
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09-28-2011 12:35
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The only time I've ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.
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09-28-2011 11:48 by
CJ
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Have you noticed each generation is getting ruder and shorter?
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09-28-2011 11:47 by
CJ
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The first step is admitting you're a problem.
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09-28-2011 11:46
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When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should've listened the first time
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09-28-2011 11:45 by
CJ
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I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers
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09-28-2011 11:14 by
ELF
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Oxiclean commercials just aren't the same without Billy Mays. Also late night tv needs more Vince from Shamwow. That hooker prob had it coming
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09-28-2011 10:31 by
Joseph Robert
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Nothing says I blow as a superhero like the Bionic Man's slow motion running. Except maybe for using David Carridine style kung fu.
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09-28-2011 10:00 by
Postrboy
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