Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Broke up with my crossed eyed boyfriend.. because he was seeing other people.
←Rate | 10-02-2011 03:11 by QB Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I'm not sure wich one you are in the picture, I'm going to assume you're the ugly one
←Rate | 10-02-2011 03:01 by gee Comments (0)  


   messageicon vodka does for me what spinach does for Popeye.
←Rate | 10-02-2011 00:09 by roxy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Motels, you can take the "Color TV" signs down now. We know....
←Rate | 10-01-2011 23:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
←Rate | 10-01-2011 22:36 by Danny T Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I win the lottery , the first thing I'm going to buy is a pot to piss in. I've always wanted one of those.
←Rate | 10-01-2011 19:38 by huhuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Mayans were really talking about page #2012...
←Rate | 10-01-2011 19:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon why is it so hard to understand women, its like I have to sit with a notepad n pen and study these basturds.
←Rate | 10-01-2011 18:34 by natemorales Comments (0)  


   messageicon just gave the dollar to a cover for a bar with which I just did cocaine with
←Rate | 10-01-2011 18:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want my head stone to read: He was survived by his family and 672 Facebook friends.
←Rate | 10-01-2011 18:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This cantelope scare is the first time men don't want to see melons
←Rate | 10-01-2011 18:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh man! I just heard Obama is coaching our team tonight.. Some public relations gimmick. He's giving the opposing team our quarterback, wide recievers and linebackers in the interest of spreading the wealth around.. :-/
←Rate | 10-01-2011 17:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a wife is somebody who won't tell you what to do but will get mad when you don't do what she wanted you to do
←Rate | 10-01-2011 17:27 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon all those extreme couponers across together need to band together and propose a budget plan to the president
←Rate | 10-01-2011 17:25 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon just took an inventory of my body and it seems to be overstocked in all the wrong places
←Rate | 10-01-2011 17:23 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Word of the day---FOCUS (fu@k off cuz ur stupid)
←Rate | 10-01-2011 17:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that I am older... I wear bell bottom pants so I can flash the guys a little easier!
←Rate | 10-01-2011 16:40 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep your head high, but your middle finger higher
←Rate | 10-01-2011 16:39 by Mudda Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just put on the pajamas I'd like to be buried in, so no, I don't think I'll be going out tonight.
←Rate | 10-01-2011 16:38 by huhuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1. play a youtube video 2.pause it 3. hold left arrow for 3 seconds 4. then press up arrow while holding left arrow 5. play the snake game
←Rate | 10-01-2011 16:05 Comments (0)  



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