Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon A wife is somebody who won't tell you what to do but will get mad when you don't do what she wanted you to do.
←Rate | 09-22-2011 17:36 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Admit it, we've all tried to splash water in our face like the commercials.
←Rate | 09-22-2011 17:35 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I'm going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.
←Rate | 09-22-2011 17:33 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friends say that I'm gay because I don't like football. What a bunch of idiots. I'm gay because I like c0ck.
←Rate | 09-22-2011 17:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A life worth living shouldn't be wasted on a life spent wanting....
←Rate | 09-22-2011 17:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK, so there's a news report of a very large satellite hitting the earth tomorrow...but of course, we have no clue where...NOW, In my opinion, it isn't rocket science to just place a SH*TLOAD of magnets in the middle of the desert....right?....JUST SAYING
←Rate | 09-22-2011 17:01 by melb Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't OWN Facebook. Stop being a whining b*tch who can't accept a mere change. Do all your friends complain when you change the furniture around YOUR house...Deal with it. Its not your website.
←Rate | 09-22-2011 16:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why would you respect Sallie Mae when she's been screwing you and all college students for years?
←Rate | 09-22-2011 16:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't wash your car on Friday……It always rains satellites when you wash your car.
←Rate | 09-22-2011 16:39 by @gnarleycharley Comments (0)  


   messageicon it feels like I'm getting a 24 hr colonic by the government.. .
←Rate | 09-22-2011 16:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The strangest of all bipolar disorders and birth defects is an inability to see things my way...
←Rate | 09-22-2011 16:35 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.”
←Rate | 09-22-2011 16:35 by BOO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first joint I hit I smoked behind Grandpa's barn. It made me dizzy, and I coughed a lot. "Don't worry, that always happens with the first hit," said Grandpa. "Try another hit." And you know, he was right!
←Rate | 09-22-2011 16:19 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm doing a charity gig tonight for people who struggle to achieve multi orgazims. Don't worry if you can't come! For those of you that will come...Sign the guest, list below!
←Rate | 09-22-2011 16:15 by David Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do not like this Sam I Am. I do not like this Facebook scam. I do not like the new news feed. I do not like it, no indeed. I do not like your top news trends, instead of recent news from friends. It was just fine, but now it's weird, so let me make
←Rate | 09-22-2011 16:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im not saying your chick is ugly at all. She just reminds me of Bald Bull on Mike Tyson's punchout
←Rate | 09-22-2011 16:00 by RUDEDOG Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever made the Sam I Am status shoud finish it.. that was some good stuff!!
←Rate | 09-22-2011 15:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook should just go back to the way it looked when it first came out
←Rate | 09-22-2011 15:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The good news: The ROGAINE® is working! The bad news: The new hair looks like pubes!
←Rate | 09-22-2011 14:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congrats Google Plus on being the new Myspace replacement. RIP facebook
←Rate | 09-22-2011 14:44 by Gil Comments (0)  



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