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Nothing like a sentence that goes nowhere. 
You are accusing me of talking about you behind your back? I am sorry; it's just that your a$$ and your face look the same to me.
It might not be your birthday, but you need a spanking anyway...
if I see someone say "smh" in a status, I automatically assume you mean "scratching my herpes"
An apple a day keeps everyone away, if you can only throw it hard enough.
Dyslexic man walks into a bra *Ba-Dum-Bum Tsss*
My Pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Damn right, I wanna trade cards. I'll beat you with my Bulbasaur.... :p lol
Steve Jobs know what I wanted before I know I wanted it!! Mark Zuckerberg thinks he knows what I want on Facebook, so he goes out and screws it up!!! Mark Zuckerberg, you are no Steve Jobs!! You are vision-less!!
If your spouce and a lawyer were drowning,,, and you had to choose,,, would you go to lunch or to a movie?
was playing "FARMVILLE" when immigration showed up and took all my workers ! ! ! !
How come when your wifes pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy & say congratulations! But nobody rubs your balls and says good job!!!!!
cle'a]ni.ng he'r ke]yb29oa;rd===
My mom thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" and texted me "Your Grandma just died. LOL." :)
the cops came to my house earlier, claiming that my dog had chased someone on a bike. I said "Piss off, my dog doesn't have a bike!".
I told my wife she looked good in that dress that she would either attract attention from a man or a hungry infant.
has anyone found that satellite that suppose of hit the earth yet?
Don't you hate sitting in a chair after someone gets up and it feels like their a$$ must've been under a broiler?
I advertised on the internet for a wife, I got a 1000 emails saying "Hey you can take mine"
Watching football shows me just how enthusiastic and pretty beer drinkers are. According to beer ads.
if a slave was born into a plantation and knew nothing of the outside world, he would not call it hopeless because it's all he knows. perhaps this propagated system of "democracy" is all you know
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