Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Steve Jobs know what I wanted before I know I wanted it!! Mark Zuckerberg thinks he knows what I want on Facebook, so he goes out and screws it up!!! Mark Zuckerberg, you are no Steve Jobs!! You are vision-less!!
←Rate | 10-09-2011 22:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your spouce and a lawyer were drowning,,, and you had to choose,,, would you go to lunch or to a movie?
←Rate | 10-09-2011 22:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon was playing "FARMVILLE" when immigration showed up and took all my workers ! ! ! !
←Rate | 10-09-2011 21:02 by Pigpen1961 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come when your wifes pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy & say congratulations! But nobody rubs your balls and says good job!!!!!
←Rate | 10-09-2011 20:43 by Pigpen1961 Comments (1)  


   messageicon cle'a]ni.ng he'r ke]yb29oa;rd===
←Rate | 10-09-2011 20:36 by Pigpen1961 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mom thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" and texted me "Your Grandma just died. LOL." :)
←Rate | 10-09-2011 20:31 by Pigpen1961 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the cops came to my house earlier, claiming that my dog had chased someone on a bike. I said "Piss off, my dog doesn't have a bike!".
←Rate | 10-09-2011 20:25 by Pigpen1961 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I told my wife she looked good in that dress that she would either attract attention from a man or a hungry infant.
←Rate | 10-09-2011 20:23 by srpdrzman Comments (0)  


   messageicon has anyone found that satellite that suppose of hit the earth yet?
←Rate | 10-09-2011 20:16 by NateMorales Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate sitting in a chair after someone gets up and it feels like their a$$ must've been under a broiler?
←Rate | 10-09-2011 19:33 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I advertised on the internet for a wife, I got a 1000 emails saying "Hey you can take mine"
←Rate | 10-09-2011 19:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching football shows me just how enthusiastic and pretty beer drinkers are. According to beer ads.
←Rate | 10-09-2011 19:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon if a slave was born into a plantation and knew nothing of the outside world, he would not call it hopeless because it's all he knows. perhaps this propagated system of "democracy" is all you know
←Rate | 10-09-2011 18:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks it's hilarious that some people see any comparison at all between Wall St protesters freely demonstrating and slavery.
←Rate | 10-09-2011 17:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How can you compare the protestors to slaves?!? slaves were born into a hopeless life, but with hard work and accepting the fact that its not somebody elses job to provide for you. You can become anything!
←Rate | 10-09-2011 16:36 by Truth Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love Halloween. You get free candy without having to get into anyone's van.
←Rate | 10-09-2011 16:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alarm clocks: because every morning should start with a heart attack
←Rate | 10-09-2011 16:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ever see anyone planking in public, nothing is stopping you from dropping a Macho Man "flying elbow" on them.
←Rate | 10-09-2011 16:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Rick Ross was Mexican they would call him Hoazay
←Rate | 10-09-2011 16:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My d!ck just stopped breathing... CPR anyone?
←Rate | 10-09-2011 15:55 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  



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