Facebook is about to start charging. If you want to keep your free account then go to your profile, take your right hand and punch yourself in the taint until it turns blue. Then post the picture and video on your profile.
Every time a car passes by me with an old matress strapped down to the top, I often wonder if there is that little possibilty that a prostitue could be making a house call!
Why do people have Spiders as pets? It's not like tarantulas are cuddly or anything. I refuse to have a “pet” whose secret fantasy is finally being able to wrap me in a cocoon.
I hate it when some popular girl form high school goes on an on about her life. I'm like woman shut your hole. Your mouth's had more pr*cks in it than a tavern dartboard.