Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If you consider yourself a percetage of the US, then you're really just worthless to it.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 11:45 Comments (4)  


   messageicon To all who lose constantly, never knowing victory, never experiencing a win. You are the champion of that.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 11:44 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Our instruments can make sounds!" --all sh!tty indie rock bands.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 11:40 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever want to click on someones status and edit it for them?
←Rate | 10-11-2011 11:37 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's time to stop making the same old mistakes in your life. Get creative. Make some new ones.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 11:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know the exact day I gave up following the path of least resistance. It's on my birth certificate.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 11:30 by Keith Albert Comments (0)  


   messageicon They always say never work with animals or kids, this is especially true in porn. :/
←Rate | 10-11-2011 11:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lets extend a warm 'Welcome Back' to our Blackberry friends who were momentarily lost in the technology wilderness for the past 20 Hours.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 11:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon SORRY should only be said when it's not going to happen again. Not when you just want to be given another chance to mess up again.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 11:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was working and suddenly I am on Facebook.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 10:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Procrastination is a disease! I'll do something about it tomorrow.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 10:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think that gal Flo from the progressive insurance commercials is hot! The same goes for Dee Dee Doodle that smoking hot purple gal with the pink hair and big hands on doodlebops! Yea this abstinance thing I am on is working out great???!!!!
←Rate | 10-11-2011 10:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Psychiatric labels are nice way of sugar coating the fact that some people are just plain a$$holes.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 10:40 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I watch "Footloose" all I can think is, "They allow dancing one town over. Just go there."
←Rate | 10-11-2011 10:31 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Apple, today would be the perfect day to bring out the new iphone to 'prove' that it's better than blackberry
←Rate | 10-11-2011 10:30 by jpb Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone has that one special person in their life who keeps them looking forward to another day. If you don't then maybe that special person is yourself.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 10:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Amish person reading this: Busted!
←Rate | 10-11-2011 10:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think women are born with the right to warm their cold toes on men.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 10:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The planet Saturn = 7 rings, Michael Jordan = 6 rings, Kobe Bryant = 5 rings, LeBron James.........Just a Headband.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 10:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who write "WASH ME" on dirty cars are the same people who think "Pull My Finger" is the most hilarious game ever
←Rate | 10-11-2011 10:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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