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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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If having Rainbow Bright stickers on my face is wrong, I don't want to be right
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10-05-2011 06:00 by
flinnie
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If you truly love someone you roll down the window to scoop out the fart you put in the car.
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10-05-2011 05:58 by
flinnie
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Why does everyone love dolphins so much? They're mammals that can breathe under water and they're smarter than us. We should be worried.
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10-05-2011 05:51 by
flinnie
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A man asked a prostitute, “How much is one round?” The Prostitute replies,"100 on the bed, 50 on the sofa and 20 on the floor. The man gives her 100 and the Prostitute says, 'Wow a classy guy' The man replies, “classy my a$$, I want 5 times on the
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10-05-2011 04:51 by
KISSTOPHER
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I am going to tell you a little secret; it doesn't cost a single dime to mind your own business.
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10-05-2011 04:36
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Sometimes I hate being around interesting people because it means I have to try and be interesting too.
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10-05-2011 04:03
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I can choose to let it define me, confine me, refine me, outshine me or I can choose to move the f*ck on and leave it behind me.
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10-05-2011 03:52 by
Nomalungelo
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Damaged people are dangerous because they know they can survive
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10-05-2011 03:50 by
Nomalungelo
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The heart is a msucle. What do muscles do when they are torn? Brow back stronger
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10-05-2011 03:49 by
Nomalungelo
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Be my Facebook Friend, NOT a Spy or a Hater.
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10-05-2011 02:27
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Trying really hard to have a good day. There is not nearly enough genital touching going on for that to happen though.
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10-05-2011 02:17 by
Doc Noland
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Just discovered there is a level of sadness where happy songs are way more depressing than sad songs.
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10-05-2011 02:16 by
Doc Noland
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The crap I can say with a perfectly straight face is illegal in 48 states. The other two just haven't met me yet.
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10-05-2011 01:49 by
Doc Noland
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Trying really hard to have a good day. There is not nearly enough genital touching going on for that to happen though.
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10-05-2011 01:47 by
Doc Noland
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All I pray is that when I die the death certificate does not contain the phrases "straining at stool" or "unusual mummification".
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10-05-2011 01:46 by
Doc Noland
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When you weigh under 150 pounds in prison you're literally doing hard time.
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10-05-2011 00:33
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Dallas Morning News reports that Tony Romo is on a liquid diet to prevent choking.
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10-05-2011 00:30
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Guys, clean up your!̸̶͚͖͖̩̻̩̗͍̮̙̈͊͛̈͒̍̐ͣͩ̋ͨ̓̊̌̈̊́̚͝͠ͅ ̷̧̢̛͖̤̟̺̫̗͚̗͖ͪ̏̔̔̒́ͥ̓ͫ̀ͤ̇ͥ͝ ̡̊͛̇ ͫ̉ͦ̊̀̔ͧͮ͆̽ͦͩ͋̌͗̚̚҉̵͖̟͙̮͈̼̹̞͝ͅscreen ;D
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10-05-2011 00:19
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Not everyone who plays with you is on your team.
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10-05-2011 00:12 by
KISSTOPHER
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I get offended when people assume I think and care about them.Who died and made you money?
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10-05-2011 00:08 by
KISSTOPHER
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