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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Somewhere-In-The-Hood: There's a dog roaming free, no leash, no owner.
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10-05-2011 13:27
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My mom isn't too good with computers, so I like to leave a screenshot of the Google home page open and then watch her lose her damn mind.
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10-05-2011 13:22 by
Marshall the Great
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Most of the time the past tense of 'hate' is 'love.'
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10-05-2011 13:20 by
Marshall the Great
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Some people are as useless as a "Sign in" button for Myspace.
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10-05-2011 13:19 by
BAD GUY
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I don't hate people, I just feel better when they're not around.
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10-05-2011 13:17
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I named my dog life because she is a b!tch too.
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10-05-2011 13:16
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My optic nerve crossed with my a$$hole, and gave me a sh*tty outlook on life.
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10-05-2011 13:16 by
Mick F
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Sex is like music: for every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
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10-05-2011 13:16 by
Marshall the Great
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The next time I go ice skating, I'm slamming someone against a wall and yelling, "Go Ducks!!"
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10-05-2011 13:11
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the only way you can be better than me is that you actually wrap yourself in bacon
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10-05-2011 13:01
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You wanna know how my day's going? I have a convertible and a bird, well, you know the rest.......................
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10-05-2011 12:55
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A pregnant prostitute went to a doctor and he asked, “Do you know who the father is?” She replied, “Well, if you ate a can of baked beans, do you know which one made you fart?”
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10-05-2011 12:50 by
KISSTOPHER
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MAN RULE 102: No man shall describe another man as cute or handsome.
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10-05-2011 12:47
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Side-Chick-Text: “You just deleted my post on your Facebook wall. Why are you trying to hide me?”
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10-05-2011 12:42
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Seriously, Why the f*ck would you give somebody 244 years in prison?
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10-05-2011 12:38
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I need a guy to give me a hug and say " Sorry my whole gender sucks"
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10-05-2011 12:36
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MAN LAW 101: No man should ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
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10-05-2011 12:08
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ill show my neighbor where to stick his subwoofer, bass or whatever he has...ill turn the volume up all the way this time
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10-05-2011 12:08 by
Eddy
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some @$$hole said I'm not a ppl person
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10-05-2011 12:05 by
Eddy
| Tags: Filtered
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Today's sh!tty attitude is proudly sponsored by the alarm clock.
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10-05-2011 11:55
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