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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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MY wife use to be afraid of the dark..then she saw me naked now she's afraid of the light..
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10-06-2011 22:39
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Never expecting the unexpected making the unexpected
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10-06-2011 22:14 by
Deena
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I wanna have a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted.
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10-06-2011 22:04 by
g0re
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pretty sure the people who dislike the popular posts are gothic kids that just want to be different.
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10-06-2011 21:52
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There would be less drunk driving in the world if Jack In The Box delivered.
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10-06-2011 21:51 by
g0re
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When you wake up the first thing you do is roll over and check your cell phone
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10-06-2011 21:39 by
g0re
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On the way home today rush hr traffic I let 8 people in and got 2 waves.should have a rocket launcher ..just saying..KABOOM
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10-06-2011 21:32
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Whenever I fly and there's a little bit of turbulence, all I can think of is that I'm going to die.
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10-06-2011 19:41
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My box of animal crackers says "May contain nuts." So I'm inspecting each animal before I eat it...just in case.
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10-06-2011 19:17 by
glt23
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wondering if any would notice if I were to put something like... "never on schedule, but always on time."
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10-06-2011 18:10
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I'm going to be staining the fence in our backyard today because that's what you do on vacation when you're awesome.
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10-06-2011 17:06 by
SuthernFukr
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I'm not saying she's a hoe.. All I'm saying is she's been on more wieners than Heinz Ketchup
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10-06-2011 16:41
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There are 3 things that drive me nuts in this world...People who think they know it all and people who can't count!!
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10-06-2011 16:22
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real reason Steve Jobs died.....Jesus needed tech support for his iPOD
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10-06-2011 16:20 by
Nebulith
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what is usualy said to a black man in a 3 piece suit? will the defendant please rise"
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10-06-2011 16:07
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All women have smart genes inside them at one point or another, hower 85% of them spit them back out
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10-06-2011 15:59
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Nothing imroves creativity like a lack of supervision!
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10-06-2011 15:59 by
Slasher
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Dear Facebook: Stop being like my Mom and suggesting people for me to be friends with!
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10-06-2011 15:57 by
Slasher
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I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Microsoft Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my eleven page essay that I swear I didn't make any changes to.!
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10-06-2011 15:57 by
Slasher
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Dear Facebook: If I have 62 friends in common with someone and we're still not friends ... it means I don't like them!!! Take a damn hint.
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10-06-2011 15:55 by
Slasher
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