Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I hate when I walk through a metal detector and my buns of steel set them off.

   The best part about it being monday is Monday Night FOOTBALL! yeah buddie :)

   I refuse to go bungee jumping... I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one

   the illness is gone but only from the outside ...

   Science Schmience. I think they've got it backwards. Birds don't fly south for the winter, they fly north for the summer. Nyah!

   Steve Jobs was the Apple of our i

   Some people are wise, Some are just other wise.

   #ThatMomentOfPanic when they realized he was really the son of God

   You can go to church and sing a hymn, you can judge me by the color of my skin, you can live a lie until you die, the one thing you can't hide, is when you're crippled inside.

   Cher diddn't lose a daughter, She gained a Ton.

   I am aware that I am less than some people perfer me to be but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.

   I think I may be confused...but I'm not sure

   I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

   if you understand morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy. JJ

   movie coming out in 2012: "I still kinda remember what you did that summer"

   hey guys!!!!!! A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

   I always mean it as a compliment but I've found that some parents get a little pissed off when you describe their children as "do-able."

   You put the ID in stupid.

   Boyfriend not calling you back? Send a text you're about to cut off all your hair. Ahhhh there he is!

   If at any point in the conversation you say the word "insane," I will instantly add "in the membrane."