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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Bin Laden, Gadaffi, Saddam, and Maliki are part of the occupy Hell movement.
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10-24-2011 23:27
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I have given up on browsing online dating websites and have moved on to the SPCA Cat Adoptions page instead.
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10-24-2011 23:24
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Hey girl, did it hurt when you fell from heaven after Lucifer's rebellion?
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10-24-2011 23:08 by
Doc Noland
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My neighbors parked to close to my car again. And hey look at that, Somebody keyed their car again.
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10-24-2011 23:01
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Girls on Facebook: "Getting Starbucks with Jenny!" 2 minutes later: 141 pictures and 6 videos uploaded.
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10-24-2011 22:51 by
Marshall the Great
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What the USA Government needs is a Department of Common Sense.
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10-24-2011 22:49 by
Marshall the Great
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UGGS: The onomatopoeia of footwear.
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10-24-2011 22:43
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The word "Scone" perfectly describes what it is.
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10-24-2011 22:35
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Mr Patel kicked me out of Dunkin donuts for telling customers the healthiest part of a donut was the hole.
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10-24-2011 22:31
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Giraffes are kinda like periscopes for themselves.
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10-24-2011 22:25
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Every time I see Nancy Grace on TV I imagine that somewhere there is a real journalist locked in a broom closet weeping.
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10-24-2011 22:24
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I really don't mind getting up and going to work every day. It's the part about staying there for 8 hours that I have a problem with.
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10-24-2011 22:20 by
BEGO
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Just picked up a Rubiks cube, see ya in a couple years
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10-24-2011 22:15
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Hang on sugar.... Daddys got a sweet tooth tongiht!!!
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10-24-2011 22:07 by
L
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A Real Man doesn't love a million girls, he loves a billion.
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10-24-2011 21:59 by
L
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Don't you think it's time we stopped blaming our problems on people in our past and started blaming them on people in the future?
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10-24-2011 21:22 by
BEGO
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If at first you don't succeed, you'll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn't succeed either.
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10-24-2011 21:21 by
BEGO
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The thing that sucks about chilling with friends is that they see how much I stare at my phone & know how little I answer their texts.
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10-24-2011 21:20 by
BEGO
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Dear Millionaires, if you don't have a bookshelf that spins into another room, give me your money because you're spending it wrong.
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10-24-2011 21:19 by
BEGO
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will work for a status.
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10-24-2011 21:16 by
L
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