Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Hey Vi@gra, you have a real competition for curing the erectile dysfunction... it's called divorce.
←Rate | 10-23-2011 22:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love Facebook, it makes me feel kinda normal after reading about all of YOUR problems. Thanks people, and thank you Facebook...
←Rate | 10-23-2011 21:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the last f*cking time, this is the first time I'm seeing this movie and we started watching it at the exact same moment. I don't know the answer to your question.
←Rate | 10-23-2011 21:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't get me wrong, I respect the Amish. What I really wonder is what invention a long time ago caused an entire group of people to go "No! No more technology for us."
←Rate | 10-23-2011 21:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's no wonder I am claustrophobic.I like fresh air, open space & my head out of my a$$....Unlike slow drivers in the fast lane driving w/the blinker on for miles :(
←Rate | 10-23-2011 21:36 by LauraP Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we all band together and don't show up for work tomorrow, we could put an end to this 'wake up on Monday' nonsense once and for all. Spread the word.
←Rate | 10-23-2011 21:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon This girl last night claimed that she'd rather perform oral sex on a diseased monkey than go out with me. Well, she's in luck, 'cause I've got a friend who works at the zoo, and he owes me one...
←Rate | 10-23-2011 21:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wives are funny creatures. They won't have sex with their husbands for weeks but then they want to kill the first woman who does.
←Rate | 10-23-2011 21:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Highways need 4 lanes per side - A NASCAR wannabe lane, a normal driver lane, an old people who drive 40 in a 70 lane, and a "Where in the hell am I?" lane.
←Rate | 10-23-2011 21:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red, Facebook is blue. You look bangable, so I'll add you.
←Rate | 10-23-2011 21:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever check your weight before and after you sh!t? I tried it and I gained weight. I think I did something seriously wrong.
←Rate | 10-23-2011 21:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeah, I felt bad rejecting her friend request on Facebook, but come on! Isn't it enough that I'm in a relationship with her? Now I got to be her friend too?
←Rate | 10-23-2011 21:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeeeehaaaaaw! I just won the Rolling Office Chair Derby!!! Crossed the finish line backwards while giving my opponents the double bird.
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Her Legs Aint Never Shook Or Locked Up On Ya, Yu Aren't Doing It Right!
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:53 by natemorales Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to live my life like a fly, pester as many people and get into as much sh!t as possible before I die.
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon ↖↖↖↖↖↖↖↑↗↗↗ ↗↗ ↗ ←← Fake people everywhere→→ ↙↙↙↙↙↙↙↓↘↘↘ ↘ ↘ ↘
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:48 by natemorales Comments (0)  


   messageicon Insecurity is an ugly thing, it makes you hate people that you don't even know...
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:46 by natemorales Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know your ass is ugly when you're the one always asked to take the photo
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:46 by natemorales Comments (0)  


   messageicon If all he wants you for is ur Breast,Legs and thighs send him to KFC. Ur a lady,not someones cheap value meal
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:43 by natemorales Comments (0)  


   messageicon she serious with that outfit? Why doesn't she just paste a "For Sale" sign across her chest?
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:31 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  



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